I don’t do these as much as I used to, I don’t thank that will change but I needed to do this one. There will be spoilers.

I felt the need to do this one because I can feel the tears of fan bros and man children filling the streets and I am kinda thirsty.

There will be spoilers.

Let’s be clear, Captain Marvel Carol Danvers is one of the most powerful heroes in the MCU. That’s a problem for a lot of fan bros. I recall a conversation with the random man from Philly about how she was ‘useless’ in End Game. She was not. The issue he had, and a lot of men like him had, was that the power and the glory was not siphoned off to men. Take a look back at End Game and the stories which followed they are woman based and non White based and it’s making folx mad. I am good with that.

This story is the sequel to the origin story for Carol Danvers, but it’s also much much more. We are reintroduced to Monica Rambeau and Kamala Khan. It’s not an accident these two women are non White. It’s also not an accident that these women were introduced to use via the Disney streaming service. Can you understand the movie and the women without having seen the shows they were on? Yes. Go watch WandaVision and Ms Marvel though. Seriously.

***So last night I just needed to jot down some things while they were fresh – now I am editing and expanding***

This movie is Kevin Feige reminding us that he is that motherfucker and where he will be taking the MCU.

First off, the director is a Black woman. Mind you I was a little nervous. I saw Candyman and wondered about how Nia would perform in the MCU. She slayed.

Let’s be clear, this movie is not going to answer a lot of questions. It is a set up for future that those of us who are fans have waited for since the rights to Fox and Sony characters reverted back to Marvel. The movie is not going to answer questions you have about Carol Danvers. If you thought that you would know all you know about Carol at the end of this, no. Mind you, its taken 4 Thor movies to get to everything you know about the God of Thunder so there’s that. If that is a complaint, that we still don’t know about Carol go on ahead and die mad about it. What we did get was an expansion on Carol. When we left her in Captain Marvel she was off to free the Kree from the Supreme Intelligence. When we see her next she’s getting headbutted by Thanos and not flinching. That is a lot of time not addressed and this movie touches on that. There is an explanation of why Carol seems so distant and I give them credit for expanding on it.

Movie 1 Carol didn’t emote because she was physically restrained from doing that, movie 2 she doesn’t emote because she’s been through some shit.

Because of her past behavior, the Kree home world of Halah is suffering from some Earth type we fucked up the planet shit. Dar-Ben is the default leader who has figured out how to both restore her planet AND get some payback to the “Annihilator” Carol Danvers. She would travel the galaxy siphoning what she needed for her home planet from the planets which Carol held dear. She hits the one planet where the Kree live free and openly, she hits the planet where the Prince of the people chose Carol to be his bride and of course Earth.

She accomplishes this by using the sister bangle we first saw on the Disney+ series Ms. Marvel. Apparently it is a thing called quantum band and together they are pretty important and powerful. Dar-Ben is a simple character and because of it she can be overlooked but I liken her to Ronin the Destroyer who we met in Guardians of the Galaxy. We know as much about him as we do about Dar-Ben so if you want to complain about her…your misogyny is showing.

Because of Dar -Ben’s actions with the bangle Carol Danvers is entangled with two others who share the powers of ‘light’ Monica Rambeau and Kamala Khan.

We met Monica in the series WandaVision and when we last saw her she was being recruited by a Scrull to join Saber. Monica is now Captain Rambeau and leading teams in space with Nick Fury. This is Nick Fury post Secret Invasion. I’ve heard people complaining about Sam Jackson’s portrayal. Folx need to get a damn life. He was too old and tired in Secret Invasion too much like his old self in The Marvels. I understand better that some folx live to complain. Nick Fury was the Fury one would expect to see as he regains his sea legs at SABER after contemplating checking out post BLIP.

We pick with with Kamala Khan where her series left off, her in her room daydreaming and suddenly zapped into space where Carol was.

The first act of the movie is a catch me if you can caper with our 3 women trying to figure out how to stop trading places and also figure out how to stop Dar-Ben from destroying the universe by opening too many portals. For those who say there were no stakes…I’d say the destruction of the universe is a stake, but then again I have common sense.

There are scenes with Kamala’s family sans the DIL and I gotta say I missed seeing her. There is Monica figuring out how to fly and also be able to hold things. There is Carol trying to be an island. Then there is Kamala being EVERYTHING. This actress Iman steals pretty much every scene, acts her ass off and you can’t take your eyes off her. Whether she is freaking out after realizing that Goose is NOT a cat, or fan girling over Captain Marvel or Nick Fury Ms. Marvel is happy to be in the room making us happy we are in the room with her.

The second act gives us a mini musical, as Carol is apparently married to a Prince and the inhabitants of the world they live on sing to communicate and cannot understand talking. I would very much like to go there in the words of Rocket.

The 3rd act has the SABER station on evacuation and people literally herding “cats”. It has our heroes collaborating and fighting Dar-Ben to save our sun and it has the death of the villain as she reached for more power than her little body could handle. The trio of Marvels use the bangles to seal a rip in space/time and prevent another universe from leaking into ‘ours’. Monica makes the sacrifice play in sealing the rip and remaining in the unknown universe.

The movie is fast and fun and does what Feige needs it to do… further the story. It gives great fight scenes, good laughs, sentimental moments. Is it the best Marvel movie ever? Of course not. Is it a better than average Marvel movie? You bet your ass it is. Does the movie have flaws? It does.

The phase 4 CGI issues rear their ugly head. I attribute that more to the rush to screen than anything else, and I think we might get the fix for that thanks to the writer/actor strikes. Could there be more ‘story’ always, but I appreciate that we get a quick hit vs the 2+ hour tradition.

The Internet is a buzz at how Marvel is failing by pushing all these colored and women. How The Marvels is not going to make the billion the first movie made. Apparently people have forgotten that we had a whole ass pandemic and nerds especially have figured out how to have the movie experience at home and not in the theater. They also seem to forget that with actors on strike there was no promotion. If the Marvels only made 14$ it wouldn’t matter because it’s purpose is not the make billions but to set up the future. Mission accomplished. It won’t make 14$ though.

We get an awesome moment before the credits, which again taps into the Disney+ series. If you aren’t watching them you should. Pizza dog and Kate Bishop are recruited by Kamala to join a team. Fan service on fleek her pitch is almost identical to the one Nick Fury gave Tony Stark about 15 years ago. We are getting Young Avengers and the set up for our grandchildren to be watching Marvel Studios films and I think we can establish that Kevin Feige is smarter than Elon Musk.

The after credit scene had your girl stand up and scream in the middle of the theater. Kelsey Grammer reprised his role as a CGI Beast…in blue skin [fuck you Brian Singer] – as Monica woke to Maria Ranbeau as binary. He’s in yellow and blue X Men boots and walks past the Cerebro vault in the basement of the mansion. The X Men have arrived. Mutants are in the MCU. That alone is worth the price of admission, even if CGI Beast could use work. It was still eons evolved over the make up used in the Brian Singer movies.

This movie was good, fuck you fan bros. The movie sets us up for what so many of us have been waiting for…Mutants in the MCU under the content genius which gave us a Peter Parker who wasn’t 45 playing a high schooler.

For me it was a 4.5 out of 5. I would have only given it a 4 but the stress it is giving the fan bros is worth the extra points. Go watch it.