This is the moment I’ve waited for, and before I close my eyes for nightly sleep, I will have first hand proof of the road. I feel as if I already had that proof, but this is one more thing to put into the bank to remind myself of who I am. I need that from time to time, and now qualifies as a time. I don’t just mean now in the moment, but now in the abstract as well. This is important. This needs to be remembered.

I don’t have anxiety about it, my questions and anxiety stand elsewhere.

I don’t want to pretend like I am passive in the decisions. I am not. I am just as impactful and calculated as I know how to be along this road. There were moments when I chose to not push forward on some aspects. There will be moments in the future where I also decide to not move forward. I am pushing right now and I wonder if that comes from a place of insecurity or if it is just me being me and making things happen.

I feel secure, even if I look at the dates on the calendar and have questions.