It’s been a week!!

It’s also been a good week. I am typing from inside this morning, while I am sure I could have done this from the porch, I wanted little to no interruptions to my morning so the dining room table it is.

I have had a lot going on, and there is still a lot going on, but I wanted to take a moment to celebrate. I deserve to celebrate.

October is the month where I celebrate my birth, my re-birth, and the re-incarnation of Nicole. I know it’s a lot, but if you’ve been here for the past decade you already know I am a lot. If you’re newer to this thing I type, as the tag states seat belts are recommended.

I am 1 week away from the new position and excited as fuck about it. I am 10 days away from 48, and excited as fuck about it. I had a small but fun event last night, and I got to wake up with the man I love….virtually. That was unexpected but lots of things happen around me that are not expected and still I stand.

I opened my eyes this morning to him sleeping and I was reminded that I want that every day for the rest of my life. I am going to have it every day for the rest of my life. Even the little things around him didn’t annoy me [much] this morning because I fell asleep to him, and woke up to him and that — his presence is so terribly missed. I’d decided earlier in the day yesterday it was time to move this timeline up and this morning solidified that.

I had an endometrial biopsy yesterday.

I don’t think I’ve shared a lot of it here, but my uterus has impacted my quality of life. I remember a time about a decade ago when I was angry at my uterus for cock blocking. It felt like I had so few moments where I could settle in naked with the person at the time and between the Depoprovera and other issues my uterus would just not stop shedding. I look back at that now, recalling WHY it was so important to have sex with that man and I’m sad in a way that I didn’t see past things sooner.

This year my uterus has been in rare form. It’s not quite as bad as when it caused my hemoglobin to drop, but it’s been bad. In the past 2 months I’ve has 6 periods, full on periods with all the pomp and circumstance associated with what this uterus does. I’ve wanted it out of my body for some time now, and I was given a surgery date yesterday: October 23, 2020.

I’d prepped myself for the time period between Thanksgiving and Christmas. The universe said nope and I said thank you. There’s a lot I have to make happen between now and then but I will get it done. I am about to be uterus free. I get my body back. I get my energy back. I won’t be in constant pain. I won’t have to constantly check to make sure my blood levels are at an acceptable rate. No more ruined sheets, mattresses. I will be able to wear white pants again. I will be free of this thing that has impacted my life since I was 11.

Now because it is my life the new surgery date tosses all sorts of things into conflict but also because it is my life those conflicts will be handled. I got this.

While I am in recovery I promised myself I would focus on the actions behind the plan for Vallejo. While I won’t be arriving as I hoped I will arrive and that is what matters. In proximity I can do more, be more, live more….forward. And forward is all that matters to me at this moment.

I have another date: June 30, 2021.

Failure is not an option.