I am going to court this month. The paperwork is not yet served but the details require it. I am not thrilled at the prospect but as I’ve learned via time here in the Republic of California, court time is reparations.

I like to think that Bonnie would be happy to see me confident enough in the merits to go in ProSe again. She don’t really like me though.

I am stuck in the second edit of the manuscript. I am working on explaining the story, factually and owning my shit while making sure that the malfeasance of the others is visible. The tricky part is to not place blame nor absolve blame, but share it in an entertaining fashion. I have plans for this manuscript. BIG PLANS.

Depending on when service occurs, and the first court date is scheduled I might be able to get through this edit by the end of the month. I would like to because once I get through this I can send it over to the readers. Where I am stuck in the moment, when I am not asking myself about the technical details of the story, is what are the questions I am submitting to the readers. The challenge is to ask questions which will further the text but not infect the reader with bias.

After it is off the the reader I am sure there will be other small [or large] tweaks. After those tweaks though it is ready to break up into pieces for the social campaign and submitting to the people. What people? I have a list. I daydream about what a yes from some of these people means. I am trying to stay grounded and not get ahead of myself. I understand though that what this could mean is a shift I’ve walked towards all of my adult life.

It’s been a cold winter so far in Da Bay, almost Philly type weather. I don’t like it so the decision is pretty much made, south is the destination. In a sense I will miss Vallejo, but I’ve proven all that I need to prove here. What comes next is the important part, and the entities to carry what is next are already in place. I can execute from here or anywhere so why not south? This is still that man’s America so being closer to a southern border seems practical as we enter year 133 of this administration.

The money I am sitting on in this moment feels unreal. I fundamentally understand that I will be forking it over by the end of the month but its been a pretty long time since I’ve seen this many zeros. The hard part is not over, not even close. It won’t be until spring I don’t think until we get to the first settlement talks. I will keep moving forward with the other parts of the plan in the meantime, but I would like to think that by spring this will be a ‘wrap’ so to speak and I can start planning the celebrations. There will be multiple.

One of the things I am looking forward to are rewarding those around me. And me too. But being able to treat those I love and sleep with for their presence in this moment where I am not fully present because I am running flat out to get to a specific finish line.

I have 2 people in mind who I will need as this moves along, I just don’t have the answer to how to retain their services today. It is not a question I have to answer today though and for that I am thankful in ways I cannot type.

I am not really a resolution person but in 2026 I want to see a healthier me. I want to see a me with an agent. I want to see a me confident enough to sit across the table from _____ and explain why this is the treatment they were looking for and why I need them to make that specific call because the alignment is spooky.

I want to see a me investing more in her people. I want to see a me on vacation for my birthday in the Spanish Rivera. I’ve priced it out and I might be able to do it alone, but I also want to see a version of me making the big ask of the person with the realization that I am not asking too much, that I am worth it and seeing them confirm such with a wire.

If I have one ‘regret’ from the shape of the text is the expansion of a specific character. I have no desire to make her bigger than she is, but I kinda have to to make the last section work. I will have at least the small victory of knowing how the speculation will throw things into chaos on her end and it could not happen to a better person.

As I type this I also realize it will cause real fear into another woman who has earned the exposure headed her way. It might mean re-opening old wounds but today I do not give a fuck. She did everything I said she did and there won’t be a way to minimize that when the facts are published in black and white. I am good with that.

It will still be a long month, but I’ve learned I can handle the worst. My question now is can the world handle my best? We are about to find out.