I thought that maybe this year I would not melt down. I was wrong, but it did not happen in the manner I was expecting. I suppose it is a part of self forgiveness. I don’t ignore the day because despite the results pain was caused that day, but I’ve gotten better at not blaming myself.

Did I play a role? Of course, yet it was Andrea and my days of sharing that weight are over,

Perhaps one day I will rejoice in the experience, today I am just grateful the ideations were kept at bey. Yes I have them, its a part of why I can see through the machinations of others.

Today’s outburst was anger. Justifiable. In this particular case I’ve been gentle but they caught me on a day when the veneer of civility was not present and let’s just say they met me. I don’t regret it, and it helped me to make a step I’d been delaying. I’m prepared for what comes next. I’ve thought ahead, and I’m ready.

There is one more thing I’ve been avoiding but that will remain on hold for the moment. It’s not the right moment.

I’ve made it through today. Life indeed does go on. It is not the life I thought I would have, but it is the one I was meant to live so live it I shall.

Mommy loves you.