Yes there is a post ‘missing’.

It will be back, because my petty runs deep, but in the middle of my petty I still have to protect that which I love.

They believe the story told to them, and I will allow them to continue to do just that. I am not on this 3rd rock to demand anyone think like me. Some of you should though ijs.

It feels like a Saturday because I did not work today. I sat here thinking well gee, I didn’t do my morning writing and then recalled it was Thursday.

It feels like I am going to have a big, full day tomorrow and should wear my sneakers, but I haven’t had a pedicure since Vegas so no sneakers for me. Even though yes I get the gel, what good is it to live here, and have pretty feet and not allow them to be seen. We all know how much I love to be seen.

It feels like, I am successful in keeping Iron Man in his place. I will say he is a curious birdie, but it’s still a 5 condom a night birdie so…. To keep him from talking about things that might make my vagina dry I asked him about himself. Yes I know Danger Will Robinson, but one can only hear the story of the capital letters once and then understand you either have to stick a titty in his mouth or move along. I am not interested in moving along at the moment because …. 5 condoms a night. Although last night we only used 4 but he had to go home. He only JUST earned dick sucking, it might be many many months before he earns sleep over, if ever.

It feels like, the current gig will really keep me, and it feels like I am spinning wheels. I am terrified to know what my emails will look like Monday but Monday is not yet here.

It feels like this city is getting smaller and smaller.

It feels like I miss the faces I grew up in kink with. There was a conference last weekend, one I swore I’d never attend, but I can see my pin from last year six feet away and I am reminded to not use the word never. So many connections surface and otherwise. Lot’s of it recorded elsewhere, some if it here. It is a reminder that I need to begin to make those connections here, yet the view is so …pale.

It feels like the issue with the central air will distract me enough to get over the momentary flare up of anger.

It feels like it was wrong to be sending off that email to corporate without cc’ing him.

It feels like I am rapacious and I am, but that feels like I am doing this to avoid something else. I am sure that I am in a sense, but that something else is elusive at the moment. It’s not the end of the story, that won’t happen until this blog is a historical thing.

It feels like thoughts ran through my head, and I pushed them out immediately. Been there, done that, 3000 miles away because of it, so there is no need to see if a different cast of characters can create a different result. Best to allow others to dream a little dream of me while I determine what my dreams are now.

It feels like she is almost home. I miss her terribly and cannot wait to show her.

It feels like I am avoiding going to bed right now because it is empty. I understand that it is only empty because I choose it tonight, but that doesn’t mean it won’t feel extra large under that comforter.

It feels like, as I read about love, that I am still seeking it. Wondering if before the fingers can no longer massage this QWERTY, I will be able to write about it genuinely. It’s not that it was false with Lord Voldemort , but the fact that I am typing Lord Voldemort instead of that other word means my fairytale isn’t happily ever after at the moment is is Anita Baker. She’s got an amazing voice, I have an amazing voice but I do still long for different words to sing or type.

Less cuss cry and scream out loud more can’t be without you baby.

It feels like the phone is on silent so I have little other choice but to listen to my words.

It feels like I am going to make a stop in Concord after going to San Fran tomorrow and I wonder if the door will be open.

It feels like home, after all this is where my heart is, how much longer until I get to share it again?