I went out to karaoke last night. It was not my first time, but it was my first time alone. I hoped the ‘karaoke crew’ would be there but they were not. I am not yet a part of the crew but if it is meant for me to be I will.

It is raining today, a soaking rain but not a thunderstorm. It is needed. It is cleansing.

I woke this morning in the headspace I was in before Mother’s Day. I wasn’t sure I would be able to channel that again but it was clear that it never left me.

This turn of events has me thinking about the dysfunction of Black men and women. How we are drawn to one another and wreck one another. How the things I feared most seemed to manifest and I became a statistic, yet I am certainly more than that. We are 2 people not the representatives of a whole race.

I have to admit that a part of my anger is wrapped in the pain of being a Black woman. Like I had to fight a battle I never agreed to enter, and never knew the rules and didn’t realize that the loss could be so thorough.

Things will come to a head in about a week or so and when the dust settles I might tell the story. I also might not. I have told this story in the pages of my journals and I don’t know if it needs to be written here. Time will tell though as it always does.

Today I relax. I prep for the new work week and focus on the things that I have to get done.