There was an exercise last night. It is a simple enough game, and one that immediately saw the solve for, and allowed the noise of the room to move me from that spot.

It is a reminder not that I am easily influenced but that I know best, or at the least best for me.

One of the other lessons is to understand that staying the course can result in a loss. I may know what’s ‘right’ but that doesn’t mean that I have to be immobile even when I see the L coming. I only had 1 moment when I almost walked out. I hear the moderator say hug a racist. He didn’t, that was my projection so I told myself to sit and roll with it. Now mind you he very well MAY HAVE meant hug a racist, but he didn’t say it so you stand.

On a side note, for a fat chick I run a lot, or I used to at least. All that running and it was only when I began to stand still that my body transformed, the universe always has jokes.

In other news, there is always other news after all, the relationship is giving me things I didn’t think were possible for me any longer. Good job Daddy. Good job Nikki.

He calls me Nikki. I gave him a side eye the first time I heard it, and I need to work on that. The initial reaction to question. Not just him, but in general. It will be more difficult to receive if I am always questioning the source. Either the universe is protecting me or not. If I am always looking at the source with a sense of distrust then I am telling the universe I don’t believe you. Perhaps that used to be the case but look at all that I have learned, accomplished, completed. The Universe delivers or it doesn’t. Since I am existing proof that it does, proof of life it is time to let some things go. That shit can be heavy. I’m spending a lot of time convincing other to stop carrying the wood for the cross of another. Let’s Migos and Walk It Like I Talk It.

Let’s go.