I remember when I first came into the public scene in Philly, lots of the people that I met in the days of the Black Phoenix wore leather and identified as Leather. Although I got to be cordial with lots of them, they weren’t ‘my’ crowd. When I looked at people like CowBoi Jen and Master Steve & tami I wasn’t drawn to them in the way people like waffles were. There was just something off about how they rolled that didn’t resonate with me at the time. I hung out with others, and made connections with others like Stern.

When the shit hit the fan with Waffles and The Man & I, those people I was once cordial with were no longer, and it was just as well then because my path was taking me to color. I still kept the kinship with those who I rocked with. When things would happen before the incident I could talk to those people. When my hot water heater exploded and my basement was full of 50 gallons of water it was Stern who went up the turnpike to Manhattan to find me a replacement. When that man from Brooklyn broke my heart it was Tempest and August 4 who held me until I was able to stand on my own. When Teff was in my kitchen having a meltdown, it was Pierre who sat at the table with me until we were sure she was no longer suicidal and I wasn’t about to become the parent to 2 girls under the age of 5 plus Bonnie plus Clyde.

As I ponder leather tonight, for reasons to be shared shortly, I ask were those behaviors NOT Leather? Is that not a part of the definition? Not one of those people defined themselves as Leather, and the Leather people took the side of the person at fault in that ugly triad. The people who I looked at who I could identify then as Leather didn’t show me the commitment the service the support the community but the people who I fucked with did.

As I continued on my path and met more and more people, I would find out that the Leather people weren’t like the handful I’d met in my infancy. I’d learn they came all shapes, sizes, orientations and shades of melanin. I still didn’t ‘identify’ as Leather though. The fashion and the code was not all that unfamiliar to me, I have historic ties to MC culture. Just as I walked away from that Property patch back then I also walked away from the Leather I found in this life. In a similar fashion, it wasnt the people, it was just the idea this is not my life.

Time went on as she does, and I settled in to be a ‘good’ slave girl and my public life went mostly on hold. The non leather people who had all those Leather qualities remained though. Even the woman who I adopted who’s relationship is now strained, has Leather in the way she moves even if she won’t necessarily call herself such.

When I came back after the incident I looked around and it seemed like everyone wanted to be Leather that week. I’ve been around enough to see the cycle and should the universe continue to give me fortune I will see another ‘thing’ come around. That’s how the ‘subculture’ goes, the masses flock to the concept which is popular in the moment and the rest of us sit and watch to figure out like Jadakiss says who’s real who’s not.

The exponential growth of the Leather though intrigued me. Ive seen twue Leather, and pleather in my time. I will see more of it. The idea though that so many want to ‘be’ something which in my head at least has very specific identifiers beyond the vest with patches was interesting to watch.

Me? I’m still over in the corner though just being me.

Tonight I went to an Eagle. If you know the word you know where I went and yep, there was lots of Leather. The thing though was almost no one was wearing it, clothing wise. They wore it in their strut, they wore it in their dance, they wore it when it came time to protect a new face, and it was done in Leather fashion.

The vibe when I walked in the place was home in a sense. Watching then form like Voltron so I didn’t have to be the shield solidified it. There I was where almost no one knew my name, yet it was the 2nd most welcoming place I’ve been to since I came to the area.

That Leather space is a home. It’s an hour away but still a home.

So does that make me Leather too? No. At some point if that is my path that is a title I will have to grab and wear, but for tonight it is just an observation. For a girl who isn’t Leather and has never seriously considered it as an identifier, I sure do surround myself with it, and vibe with the traits. Even my crush is Leather, and all I have are a couple good bags made of the stuff.

It’s something to ponder just not now. Now. Bed.

Aphrodite Brown