I honestly don’t know what to type here. I know what I should type, but what I should and what I will are very different.

I am in a moment where I have to examine the reality of the situation and make some decisions.

I haven’t cried yet. It will come I am sure but so far…nope.

I still think tears are useless but they will arrive, they always do,

I am not sure where I will land at the end of this. I have one of the biggest meetings of my life scheduled for the very same day I have to complete a separation. Yeah, this is me not thinking it through all the way but the dates are what they are.

As the attorney and I chatted in front of the courthouse yesterday, the gravity began to descend on me and my shoulders haven’t lifted since. I am still at 100% when I have to go to that courthouse. I have yet to walk away without an outcome in my favor. That won’t change. The what comes next of it all, well, I ain’t got the answer.

Once upon a time I would vomit it all here and go about my day. I know when that changed. I also know that with all the uptick in traffic here some of that won’t change. A little of it will though, because I am going to spend a lot of time at this keyboard in the next 3 weeks. More that I should most likely, but one must do that which allows them to move forward.

I am not broken but I sure am curious at what comes next. I woke this morning feeling something I have not in easily the last seven years. I don’t yet know how to shake it off, but I know that these characters on the screen are first steps. The 2nd of those steps I am not ready to take. The boxes look heavy already.