That is the phrase on my mind this morning. I wasn’t expecting it to be, yet this has arrived. I’ve made a lot plans in this life time. Ironically almost none of them have come to fruition in the manner I imagined.

I fundamentally understand that this is not where the story ends. I am already considering a new ending for the text, because circumstances require it. One day it won’t be me responding to events but today is not that day. Tomorrow is not that day and neither is Friday.

I have to revamp the argument, and some of the leverage that I had is not longer present.

I was not expecting the phone call I received. I was too numb to react to it in the moment. Tears will fall, eventually. Today I am treating like a regular Sunday, long weekend because it is a recognized holiday Monday.

The weight of what comes next is heavy, and I am prepared to bear it. I know my strength. I know what I am capable of accomplishing. I will say that I am over having to flex. I haven’t updated the person yet, I will….just not today or tomorrow. There is a flight ahead and I don’t want to ruin that.

I still have moments where I think I ruin all that I touch. The facts don’t support that, yet the voices of the past sing loudly at times. That is one of the reasons I sing so loudly. Then I recall that I haven’t sung out loud for a time. I can trace it back to last summer and it makes things fall into a certain perspective.

One of the conversations I’ve had with myself is why I was okay being in that space. In 2007 or so I revolted at the prospect yet in 2025 I was …the first word was content but that is not accurate. Accepting is more of a relevant word. In this moment I can hear the voice of a little one and I have to admit that I wish I could believe the way they do.

While I should be writing the addendum, I have to do something else. Something I despise really. Funny how I have to do so many things I dislike. More funny how some of this is of my own design if not intent.

I will say that the altered trajectory distracted me from a POV. What is on the other side of it I don’t know. I wish I did, but that would end up with me rushing to arrive to the ending.

I know the ending will come, and today,,,,,just today……I can’t speculate what it will be or how I will respond.