As I sit back and reflect on the last week I have questions. Questions to myself and wondering what it means.

There are so many good things and I have to ask what it means to me.

When I think about first things I recall that I am not at full speed on my medications so that needs to factor into the conversation, yet I also have to internally ask myself is this one of those moments. It doesn’t have to be and I have the power to alter the trajectory of things but understanding how I landed here will prevent a repeat visitation.

I am not unhappy but I am a little restless. Part of that is distance. I didn’t expect to miss them in the way I do, and being that I do what does that mean? It means I am more invested that I ever planned and that is not the problem. A problem that I will acknowledge is how I FEEL. I feel 52. That is odd considering I never imagined I would make it to this age, but I feel it. I don’t have the luxury of feeling it right now and that is concerning to me. I am just jotting this down now so in a month when things are different I can celebrate. There is minimal celebration in the moment though because there are many things that have to fall correctly.

By September the ship should be ‘righted’ again. That tells me it will be a long summer. That’s cool though I have a pool here.