I like to sleep. I prefer to expend little energy until it is time for me to pop out and show niggas then I got all day.

Opening the email this morning was a bit of a shock. In a world where I am that bitch – and rest assured I am always that bitch – seeing rejection was a WTF. As I often do, I allow the Universe to do what it do, and inherently I understand this was not my path. I only thought about it as sort of an after thought. I think I assumed that I would smooth through, sail through, and it was a hard stop.

It brought me to tears actually. I obscured them from my company but they generated none the less.

That notice didn’t alter my plans because the result was going to be a long term placement vs a right now. The notice hurt my ego though. I asked myself if that was such a bad thing and I decided today that it was. Tomorrow might be a different story but today I stand on that.

I’ve battled ideas of less than since the catastrophe of May 2022. I understand that I am not but as I’ve shared so many times here and with the therapist, my life is a battle of living in the truth of the matter and over writing decades of other. Most days I win, and today at the end of the it will be a winning day but that NO was a open hand palm to the face.

Having my person here with me helps, a ton. It also reminds me that I have to make reservations for 2 months from now. In fact let me take care of that right now