I’ve frequently looked at the people at the head of the pyramid and thought I wanted to be like them when I grew up. I’ve wanted to be that person in the front of the group inspiring, and at the same time thought I was not ready.

The thing about me though, is while I wanted to have all eyes on me I kept waiting to get the ‘answer’. The thing about MLMs is that the speeches they give you don’t contain the answer, they contain just enough to keep you present until the next step.

I have another friend, who hasn’t met a self help program she wouldn’t pay for twice. It was simpler to not follow her along that path because of how the two of us manifest. We are designed to be 180 degrees apart all the time. She’s spent an obscene amount of money following this guru or that Robbins, and she’s still going. In fact if the people at the last program were more humane, she’d still be on the financial hook. She did get me to attend one of those things. I learned a lot. I doubled down on some things that needed reinforcing. I still saw myself at the front of the room all eyes on me.

2020 is my year. Sure the world is burning, literally. The year started with Australia on fire and within the last seven days parts of Philly burned. 2020 is full of chaos and pandemics and changes and it’s still my year.

I set a goal to get the new website live June 15. I have less than 10 days and that bitch is still on the empty side of things. This weekend lots of that will change. One of the cool things, Daddy is right there and a reminder and grounding. When I get up on that whatintheworldamigoingtodoandmakehappennext chaos train, he swats me off. His strike is strong and true.

On the other side of whatever this tumultuous year brings will be Vizionz Coaching. On the other side of Vizionz Coaching is the economical success I seek to be able to make the changes I was meant to on this planet. The money will come but it is not about the money. I was meant to change lives, and I know this because I’ve changed mine.

Others need like I needed, a person who could keep them on the path.

The truth is – I am the change I want to see in the world, and there is no other time to do it. The street level work so to speak will get funded by the grand ideas. The grand ideas will alter the trajectory and we will improve this 3rd rock from the sun. While I am doing that ….

I don’t need to wait for someone to ‘show’ me. I know it. Soon the world will also. I’m excited about it, at a time when I watch America burn and it’s hard to be excited about anything.