i always thought that there would be more time until there wasn’t

I’m doing my best not to reach out today because I just don’t see the point any longer

I do know that I miss your counsel, and that with what comes next for me your presence could make a difference

but then I have to remind myself that if you were present how different things would be and this particular scenario would not be happening

to the man who once told me he didn’t expect to live past 35 – you did it

yes I still love you but no I’m not trying to do this again

2018 is the year of me admitting that I don’t have it within me and for once I’m gonna ignore “is that what you think”