Now I understand.

No you don’t.

Today didn’t lend it self to the educational portion of the program though so I just let that sentence stand. I saw it though. I see a lot.

I’m not psychic I am observant.

I am a student of humanity, and I am especially interested in you at the moment.

What you don’t get is how quickly that can change. You don’t not really. I used as plain words as I could when I said instantly. I was literal.  You may have thought I meant at the moment, I meant forever.

If I can avoid investment I do, it’s been that way for most of my existence. I learned very early on the penalty that comes with giving a shit, loving, investing. It took a little longer to STOP caring but eventually I learned that lesson as well. I am normally a pretty good student.

Once you’ve penetrated my defenses though that connection is tough to break.  It’s not impossible, ask Reginald, but it is tough.

I may not mate for life but I commit for an extended period of time. I may not be interested in taking a walk down the aisle but under the right set of circumstances till death do us part is possible. Ask Gei.

I see two possible paths.  Well 3 actually but only 2 are logical and I prefer the logical.

I’ve explained that you have everything that you need, and I am gonna just at the moment chalk this up to inexperience. I won’t say youth, that’s not the mitigating factor, inexperience is much more accurate.

For what it is worth, Mr. Peanut who popped up again is way older than you and just as inexperienced.

I’ve considered some of the things you said. I am still thinking there’s only been 1 hard no, but you are new to me so I will give you some slack. Mr. Peanut is not gonna get that same slack. I ain’t got that type of time in my life with the next 6 weeks hanging over my head.

There was not a lot different I could have done to aviod this crisis. I’m just gonna have to buckle up and swing. My arms are tired though. My form is lacking and my legs have been up for a long time. I don’t know if my punches carry their same weight these days.  I will find out though.

I owe you a debt for getting me over that emergency.  I was honest when I told you it was 2 years since it was that bad. I’ve pretty much made it through today though, and this is one of the hardest days in a series of hard days.

Yes that was a 2. I know that it escapes you how you’re on the floor unable to stand after a 2. I know that despite your bravado, when you actually digest that it was only a 2 and just how far that is from 10 you might have a bit of fear. I can help you through that, assuming this continues.

I know I want to come to the party. There are things you’re gonna need to see that hopefully I can show you there. I have a handful of ways to do that but I have to be there. If I don’t come to the party this gets a lot more challenging. I don’t want challenging right now I want simplicity. I can’t keep the sides of your box up though, so simplicity might not be what the universe has delivered.

Aphrodite Brown