The need was immense.  An hour prior she was at a very low point, desperate for what was to come. It is a real need at time and this was one of those times.  Now she was sitting on the living room floor, holding a paddle and picking out her own implements of torture.

As she braided the strands of the flogger she thought to herself and wondered if he was going to be up to the task. He’d never seen her this way. No one in the room had actually, no one except the ever present spirit. Killer Mike was spitting lyrics in the background as she found herself actually stalling for time.

She understood how badly things could happen.  She’s been here before. She continued to braid as the group talked around her.  She on occasion chimed in, pretending to be present. She wasn’t though. She was someplace else, missing someone else, needing someone else.

Eventually two retreated to the 2nd bedroom and she was alone with the wolf.  In normal circumstances as the lion she would not be hesitant.  In that fight there is no contest.  The lion will always win. She didn’t feel ferocious.  She felt like a kitten, a kitten not even a lion cub.

She picked up her tools, his tools and they retreated to the other bedroom. Conversation was had, although the precise words are not important. What is important is that she disrobed while they spoke. As he laid out the tools she took one small step to protect herself. She put on socks.

It was important that she not be totally nude. It was more important though that she not present her feet to him with unpolished toes. She instinctively knew what that meant, and she also knew that he would miss the significance. She wanted him to notice, but she also wanted to preserve.

What was asked this night was relief. Who it was asked of was the issue. She didn’t want to be vulnerable to the wolf. She wasn’t sure that he was ready. She knew that she was not ready.

What was needed though was relief.

She steeled herself as she passed over the steel, black handcuffs.  She didn’t look him in the eye. She feared that her need would be evident and what minuscule amount of power would transfer to him and in that moment the game would be lost.

What was needed though was relief.

In front of you or behind you?

It was a simple question.  Her answer was not. Her voice didn’t waver as she said behind. Her voice didn’t betray her anxiety. She gave him her back and slowly prepared herself.

What was needed was relief.

He pinched her on the left.  It wasn’t on purpose. He was awkward. It wasn’t that he hadn’t done this before, it was that he also knew and respected the gravity of the moment. They were about to shift their connection.

When the cuffs finally started to click, she finally started to let go. The wolf would not understand this….yet. The metal did its job. He pinched her on the right. She wanted to let her mind rest, but he pinched her. Before she could voice her protest her face was shoved into the mattress and the first strike of the cane happened. She vaguely remembered him trying to instruct her on safe words but she knew none would be used.

The first strike of the cane made her want to scream. It didn’t ‘hurt’. Little that would happen tonight would hurt. She wanted to scream because of the pressure that was about to be released.

She thought to herself who the fuck STARTS with a cane?

Where was the warm up? Where was the establishment? The strikes continued. She continued to wonder.

Was this actually what she needed? It was what she asked for. The items were her selection. The wolf was her only choice, spirits can’t swing a flogger. Her brain didn’t stop working, but her body responded. It always does. She felt the blood rushing to her face. She felt her walls start to contract. She felt the moisture accumulating. She leaned in.

This was what she needed. She needed to be put into a place, to be forced to feel. She leaned in.

She was abnormally quiet. Her mind was struggling to hold onto the stress while her body struggled to respond to her training. This shit hurts. The pain – the hurt – she felt it. She wanted more. She began to breathe and moan. She was only then aware she was holding her breath.

Her body continued. She felt her nipples harden. She felt her body shifting. She made her ass and legs move. The wolf responded with intensity. She stood. She was ordered to bend over again. She did. He spoke she responded.

She was in the middle of relief.

Her kitten retired and her lioness began to pace. She is still unsure if the wolf noticed the shift. She’d with his help pushed past her cluttered brain and had moved to primal. Reaction. Feeling. Instinct. Push. Agitate. Engage.

I want to hit you she said.

Relief.

Their time could continue. Sex would happen.

The more important part though is relief was had. The wolf delivered.

They didn’t discuss what would come next. Instead he ate pot roast.

Aphrodite Brown