DeeDay is deferred, at the moment indefinitely. I am less than thrilled about this. At some point in my development I am going to have to actually be that cold, single focused, ruthless bitch some people believe I am.  Today though…I am just Aphrodite.

Sometimes Aphrodite thinks with her vagina.

I usually can reign it back in and make better choices, but sometimes I lead pelvis first.

One day I want to grow up and be that person who actually simply just does shit because she wants to.  If that were the case, I’d have a replacement date and my vagina would stop letting me know she is here and hungry.

The day after that though I suspect that I would not like me very much and I would over correct future behaviors to avoid that guilt.

I laid it all out for jjabrams in DeeDay, and my first impression is he doesn’t read Vizionz. Ok. That’s fine. It gives me a layer of separation and freedom to not couch my words.

My second impression is jjabrams needs to read Vizionz because he can still find a path to get all that shit he says he wants.

Historically one of my concerns is that an industrious predator could come here, take notes and present themselves as what they’ve discerned I need. Over time I’ve understood that my layers prevent that specific level of infiltration.  Today though I would just prefer that whichever one of you is next at bat swing it out the park, even if that means using the cheat code I give you here.

That’s my vagina talking.

I explained to Tempest that I just want to return to the world of regular fucking.  Seems simple enough, I am a woman, I am reasonably attractive, I should be fucking.

Instead I am typing. As talented as I am I can’t blog here and fuck at the same time, if I ever develop that skill your sex is beyond whack.

Leading with my vagina had me telling Q the other day that jjabrams is not out of his league.

My vagina also read that email yesterday and said, shit this kid is out of his league. As she began to dry I typed. And typed and typed.

By the time I got to the end of my response she looked up at me pitifully and said….we gotta start over don’t we?

I told her maybe not, but I might have been lying to her. Considering her lack of throbbing this morning I suspect she knows I was lying and is allowing me the space for my hopeful brain to catch up to her.

She knows how hard it is for him to come back from this, ever hopeful Aphrodite is thinking he still has a chance.

If I were a different person this would be simple. Sign, fuck then say well that was nice gotta go. I mean that’s not hard right?

It isn’t hard until I factor in my leading with my vagina could get someone fucked up down the line. Not me. Not likely him. Some chick in 6 months or 2 years who doesn’t know better.

Then what? How do I reconcile that with a penis I am not likely still sitting on in that time?

I don’t.  That is why on my road trip tomorrow I will likely be exchanging text messages and listening to my vagina ask me why can’t we just be a part of the regularly fucking club. I will tell her there are approximately 3 billion penis on human beings and possibly billions of others in various forms of silicone and other materials on this earth. I will explain that one [or more] of the others will make themselves available. She will tell me jjabrams has a flogger and likes to choke and she will pout.

I will tell her to be patient.

She will say fuck you.

We will be back at square one.

I told you. This shit is exhausting.

 

Aphrodite Brown