A question in JJAbrams Facebook group prompted this post. No not THAT JJAbrams.
What do I bring to the table?
If you visit here you understand that I am a unique blend of overconfidence and self doubt. I will waffle between the he two based on what’s happening in my life at the moment. The change can be instantaneous I am that fluid.
I was explaining to a friend that I was offended I was asked something a couple weeks ago. The request wasn’t that big a deal. It was a simple thing to do, took less than 30 minutes. Even though it was something I’d never done before it was still easy for me. My offense was that this person had the audacity to sk me to explain myself.
In one of my moments of braggadocio I thought I ain’t Black I’m OJ!!
One should consider themselves beyond fortunate that I took the time to acknowledge that you exist in this world. Fuck your request!
Still, I did it anyway.
I did it because, it was gonna be a first. Now that I’ve done it I know that I CAN do it and should the need arise in the future I have something to reference.
I did it because I was feeling gracious enough to understand if I wanted to get to this next step I needed to play the game.
I did it because I wanted what was on the other end of that request and I am now one step closer.
I was still offended though. I was until I wasn’t.
In the time since that request I haven’t chosen to be offended, but I am curious about what it is that is not being said.
My process of attraction is fickle, and my attention span is short like mosquito titties. All of this ‘work’ could easily get left right where it is if I suddenly decide that it is no longer worth exerting myself. Ask Ice Cold when his last invitation was and you get my drift. I don’t have the attention span to chase these days. I’m OJ.
I understand that I might not be the lid for every pot but I am fucking exceptional. My value to you cannot be measured should you determine this right here is what you want.
I’ve forgotten shit others have yet to learn. I’m OJ.
Yes I am out here in these streets dodging commitment bullets like Neo in the Matrix. I am also still Neo, still OJ.
When the opportunity presents for you to experience me, don’t let that go. Those opportunities don’t appear often. While it may not be a forever kind of thing, the time we will spend together will alter you.
If I am fortunate I will also be altered.
I can’t share ALL of the conversations I’ve had lately but there is one that is at the front of my massive brain. Where does this go? I know what I see, what I sense, what my instinct tells me. I also know how to get you there and keep you there.
My question to self is this what I want to do?
All I know right now is that I want this very next thing to happen. Period.
Even with all that I’ve done to set this up for the long game, outside of the very next thing… I don’t know.
I see so many different possibilities. I see so much potential. I see literally years of fun ahead. I just don’t know if I want to put out the energy to maintain that.
Especially if I am presented with how should I phrase this… Non
What I can share is this new opportunity can give a whole other meaning to Vizionz from the Bottom. I can have yet another First. I’d like that, probably.