I’m Restless.

I mostly understand why but I am still restless.

I’m pacing and fretting.

I’m choosing specific things to do that aren’t necessarily needed but they fill the minutes which turn to hours which turn to days.

I am restless.

I didn’t sleep last night.  When it finally did overtake me I was forced out with vizion of Valerie trying to put a plastic bag over my head.

I didn’t sleep last night.

I refused to masturbate. Not this night too. I decided against a phone call knowing I needed to work this morning.

I am restless.

There is something there….evading me.  I still can’t determine if it is on purpose or not. Release is coming, it just may not be in the manner expected. This is not how most people keep it, but for the moment it is effective.  Until it isn’t.

Aphrodite Brown