Constant reader you have Weekend Reunion to thank for this flurry of activity. A portion of me was electrified…both literally and figuratively.
I have Weekend Reunion to thank for reconnecting me to old friends who are good for me in more ways than one.
It seems like a lifetime ago that I was ‘new’ to the kinky scene. The scene being the public scene, as I’ve come to realize I’ve always been kinky.
Newark sent me the link casually telling me to check it out. Way back there I was one of the first 300,000 people on a site that eventually would explode. Fetlife was this kinky wonderland and I was diving into the hole.
I am truthfully amazed that I survived the experience. I was so green then. I was thirsty for what I was missing and I made some errors in those early days. I could’ve been one of those tragic warning stories. Some of the ‘dominants’ I met back then could have turned me out and I may still be walking the stroll, assuming they were not insane and killed me.
Yes it can get that real and that deep in this life if you aren’t careful. I wasn’t careful, I was just a fool protected by the universe.
One of the reasons I didn’t fall into the hands of a predator is that I met some people early on who shielded me from the worst of what we do, and gratitude is offered to them.
I can tell you how I met Pierre, for the life of me though I can’t tell you how I met Tempest or Waffles.
I can only conclude that I saw Black faces and clung to them quickly. I saw ‘submissive’ and thought SISTERS.
Time would prove that my early attachments were not necessarily the best, but over the years having people with like minds in my space is necessary.
Back in that day we were the Four Horsemen of Philadelphia. If it was kinky we all hopped in the minivan and gravitated towards it. My life was different then, Teff lived with me, Bonnie & Clyde didn’t need as much of my attention, and I worked outside the home.
As the weeks turned to months, and at some point years it whittled down to me & Waffles. Pierre and Tempest though never left my mind or heart….we just started doing different things.
My friendship with Waffles exploded loud and in living color in front of the people of Fetlife and my kinky Philly community and I ended up navigating this world mostly solo. I had people around me who I could call acquaintances but our eventual friendships weren’t there yet. Some of those kinkly people have since become my family, but back then I was a horseman alone.
Ironically it was the ‘incident’ which brought them – Pierre and Tempest – into my life. In my time of need, desperate need, they reached out to me and did what friends do… They lifted me up and held me until I could stand on my own feet.
I wasn’t able to give back as much as I hoped. I was too busy trying to do more than just exist, but friendship doesn’t have rigid rules on how the exchange goes.
I love my spoon beyond words, but while she is ‘like’ me, our needs are different. In this kink thing our priorities are not the same, our motivations are not similar, and our eventual needs ..end game if you will, is not on a parallel path. She’s mine forever, but why we are doing this thing comes from two very different places.
As you move through this life you need like minds to flesh things out, to assist you. No matter how long you’re around or how much you’ve seen or done, without a like mind to consult you’re gonna run into issues.
For a few years my sounding board was a woman I grew very attached to and respected and loved. She rubbed more than one person the wrong way but she was who and what I needed at that time. We’d spend hours on the phone daily, seriously. She was Steph Curry in the clutch for some big moments in my kinky journey. She still was not a like mind though. There were things missing because of our different backgrounds.
I was looking for my relationship she already had hers. Even when I stopped looking for a relationship because I had one, things were different. When that relationship needed she was there but not a like mind. There is a certainty there with her that I cannot share, and that forced me to not lay bare all that my mind held. Without a like mind I was back to being solo in some instances.
WR 2017 brought Tempest to my inbox. Are you going? Want a roommate?
She’s why I got to stay the whole trip. Without the financial assistance of roommates I was considering cancelling the trip. I had the money, I was having issues justifying the expense when there are other things I want to make happen. I thought to myself if I decide to go I will have to limit my trip to one night, I just can’t explain to myself the expense.
With roommates though that expense was cut to 2/3. It was a green light to kink heaven.
First night dinner was a reminder of why I need like minds around me.
Tempest, Pierre and I sat at a table with a fourth. We talked about life and kink and it occurred to us that the three of us – now the three amigos instead of the horsemen – were an almost perfect spectrum across the board. From religion, to politics, to kink when you sit the tree of us together Pierre is on one end, I am at the other and Tempest is in the middle.
At this point of time we are also of the like mind in seeking some type of partnership in this kink thing we do. Even there though we are along the spectrum.
Having their like minds with me helps me articulate that which needs to be said. Yes constant reader, even I need help with words at times.
Time will continue to move. We will continue our journeys. At times that travel will lead us to quiet times like it has in the past. For right now those like minds in my life are a blessing.