“You took my hand you showed me how, you promised me you’d be around. I took your words and I believed in everything you said to me. That last kiss, I’ll cherish, until we meet again.” – P!nk

At first I thought that I would just play the song.  Like most lyrics there is speculation about the inspiration behind the music. I don’t speculate though, instead I remember early morning drives on the Interstate running across this song as I scanned the radio.  I’d roll down the windows most nights and sing at the top of my lungs.  As the miles ticked by, as I made that drive night after night after night I almost always was able to find this song.

Depending on how many state troopers were on the road I could make that trip and back in just over 75 minutes.  Some nights I left Bonnie & Clyde sleeping to make the trip.  Some nights I loaded my munchkin into that green Ford minivan with me.

One night I almost killed us both on the return trip.  I was flying off Route 1 and I ran into standing water after a brief but intense thunderstorm.  I must have hit that puddle at almost 70.

I knew what that van could do, and I pushed her to the limits those nights.  That one night though I didn’t realize that the water hadn’t receded and we almost rolled straight off the road, into the SEPTA station with that drop off right there.  Clyde would likely have lived, he was sleeping soundly and strapped into the car seat.  I can’t remember if I had my seatbelt on though.

I remember thinking not yet, there’s too much to be done.  I have to see you again.

Turns out the next time I would see you was in a courtroom.  I was right, just not in the manner I thought that it would present.

I had flashes of the night off and on today.  The sudden storm as I was on my way to work felt like the trigger but my gut tells me it is something else.

****************************************************************

I spent some time on my break from work looking at the Facebook photos of a man I’ve had sex with before.  I want to have sex with him again.  Unlike the other day though when I was explaining how my milkshake brings all the drivers to the yard, I am afraid to ask him.

I watch him through the looking glass of his social media accounts and I wonder why would he want to again? I think back to all of my insecurities of that night.  I think back to our very first meeting all those years ago.  He never came back to the hotel them, but when I was last in his area he did.  I smile at the thought of HIS smile as we talked.  Yeah, for some reason we talked. I chuckle in my head when I recall how I almost made him get up and leave when he told me he was considering voting for Jill Stein.  I stopped him from talking then, afraid he would say something else that would dry my vagina.

As he undressed I admired his body which had finally filled out.  When we first met he was almost scrawny.  Well, in comparison to him now that is to say.  I do recall though running my hands down his chest as he reclined in the driver’s seat of his car.  I contemplated mounting him there and then. This 2.0 version of him though was even sexier.  I hadn’t even noticed that he was hard, until I noticed. His penis is beautiful. I enjoyed it and him. He wasn’t hesitant in the things he did. Yes there was a level of restraint that comes with two “strangers” naked for the first time, but he fucked like he’d been there before.  Well not my vagina, but he fucked like he understood the basics and was in advanced classes to do those things I like.

I’ve learned more about him, but we haven’t spoken. When we do I hope to get over my fear and ask again. After all, he may just say yes.

**********************************************************

The Kid likes having sex with me.  [I’ve changed his nickname here]

He’s very into the things I do for him.  This is expected. What I wonder about though is this one orgasm thing.  The story he shared tonight was one orgasm.  Our last encounter was one orgasm.  I want him to understand the potential we have – or at least I have.

I’m inside his head though.  With a few words I can have his body craving me and all that I bring. That kind of power is seductive.

**********************************************************

I have a 3sum planned in my head.  MMF. I think I am gonna try to make that happen this summer.  I need something right now and in the absence of who I want I will take what I need, even if it requires multiple sources.

I didn’t go into the old emails tonight, even though they are on my mind.

 

Who Knew?

 

 

Aphrodite Brown