And the countdown begins.

While I do have some updates and comments constant reader I need to keep it real with you.  This post is mostly an excuse to turn on the lights in the community room.  These chicks stay wanting to sit in the dark, or relative dark.  My petty remains on fleek though and I find ways to turn on this light because I remember when I couldn’t turn on a light and I don’t ever wanna be there again.

This countdown is a little different than the prior countdown.  The prior countdown was about “losing”, this countdown is about winning.  I am truly winning and I don’t fear sharing that  information.

It’s been two years plus since my life was tossed into chaos and I was left with nothing.

In 119 days or earlier I will sign a lease on a new house.  It won’t quite be a home until Clyde is there but having that house is the final barrier to making home again.

I’m excited. I’m thankful. I’m also afraid.

Fear is normal in this case, but fear historically for me is something that can prevent movement.

Not this time though…..at least I don’t think so.

In other news….I am “officially” dating. I’m not exclusive by any definition, nor do I plan to be exclusive, but I can no longer deny these things I’ve been doing aren’t dates.

I’m not sure that I have gotten better at dating but I am at the least accepting that I am out there and open.

That open is a vulnerable space and I despise being vulnerable, but in this moment it’s worth the risk. The risk being the possibility to live a life that resembles “normal” instead of retreating back to what used to be once upon a time.

I am still battling to get my health insurance reinstated.

I am still battling to not allow my illness to debilitate me.

The key word is battle and I’m nothing if not a fighter.  I don’t win every fight but I am not afraid to knuckle up.

 

Aphrodite Brown