It’s been six days now since the Presidential election.  I am still in mourning but I’m gonna be alright, even if White women won’t.

Don’t get me wrong.  That pain in my head and heart began early on Tuesday night.  I  watched MSNBC (after hiding the remote control from my peers here so they could not turn the channel) – and when 8 rolled around and they said my home state of Pennsylvania was still too close to call, I understood that things weren’t going well.

In truth I could have figured it out based on all of the traffic from NY state to Philadelphia from the Clinton campaign. The Commonwealth almost always goes the way of Philadelphia and Pittsburgh.  The two major population centers almost always negate the rural and redneck that exists in between the two.  All those canvassers showing up the weekend before the election should have been a clue.  I opted to ignore the clue though.  I was certain that we are on the brink of making history again.

History was made, just not how I wanted it to unfold.

Tuesday night I wept openly.

As red state after red state popped up I realized that who I was as a human being was being systemically rejected and told I should not exist.

Frankly it was the lowest I felt since waking up November 1, 2014 without Clyde in the house.

Mourning shall continue, this wound is deep.

One thing about the election though……..not much has changed for me.

I am still a Black queer liberal woman raising a special needs child and trying to rebuild her life.

America hated me on Monday – they still hated me on Wednesday.  This struggle to exist is not new to me at all. While the past eight years delivered a hope I didn’t know was possible, my struggled remained.

I am used to this fight.  I am good at this fight.

One of the things that grant me solace is the youth who have chosen to take to the streets to protest the election of that guy.

I’ve often worried about these children and their sense of entitlement.  My generation has given them everything.  Ironically it is that spoiled sense of entitlement which is gonna end up saving us all.

Our youth doesn’t realize that the election was cement.  They don’t live in a cement world.

They believe they can protest and make a difference because everything has been handed to them and they don’t know what defeat means, or subjugation, or loss.

I can support these kids and validate their feelings and share with them what they need to fix this world my kind fucked up.

It’s gonna be an old fashioned ECW brawl but these kids don’t know it isn’t possible…which means they will be the change they wish to see in the world.

How about that hunh?

It means that the path I started is the path I have to continue without wavering because they are gonna need my strength as they build a bridge from the hope of 2008 to the reality of ______ (date to be determined)

Well alright then.

I’m ready.

I was damned near born ready.

 

Aphrodite Brown