I woke this morning to a soft bed. It’s been some time since my bed was this soft. I spent over $1000 on my old mattress and box spring combo. I believe in sleeping well. My bed at Lexie’s wasn’t soft at all, but it wasn’t concrete and the elements so I worked with it. My bed now? It’s alright. Once more it’s under a roof and it’s only temporary.
My bed last night was soft though. Almost like my own soft. On a platform as I like it soft. With four pillows like I like it soft.
While I waited to hear from not so Easy E I took a shower and crawled into that soft bed.
I delayed some calls I needed to make due to yet another Nicole ignited crisis. I’m gonna get back on the phone shortly but I wanted to talk about this first, while its relatively fresh.
I’m in Baltimore hours away from a night with my kinky chosen family, and I had intercourse.
Good intercourse actually.
I learned a hard lesson a couple years ago that surprise penis isn’t always good penis
Last night was pretty good though.
It was so good that when he was finished and wanted to talk I didn’t tell him to shut up and leave. I thought it though….some old habits don’t die.
Last night was a milestone of sorts. I couldn’t bring myself to the potluck, my anxiety was off charts and I didn’t want to have a panic attack. Easy E stood me up, (his loss), and I faced that Nicole crisis I mentioned.
If things didn’t work out last night I may have woken this morning to paralyzingly fear which would make this weekend a wash out. Instead yet another younger man, and fine as hell, told me he’d been looking forward to being alone with me for years.
This one is even younger than ice cold, and I am now seriously wondering why I wasted three more years of my life trying to make it work with Gei when apparently there are multiple men out there trying to get at me that I am a oblivious to.
Me being oblivious to a potential suitor is old news. I never quite get used to someone saying they like me. In my head I am every man’s fantasy but in reality I still need prompting and coaching to understand that I truly AM someone that men (and/or) women want.
That is the duality of being me. I can be both sex goddess and oblivious at the same time.
I will say that a girls ego being stroked (along with her vagina) well was sorely missed. I still have my eye one the prize back home, but I have to admit this moment in Baltimore is doing a lot to restore parts of me.
After last night any hesitation I had about Ice Cold is gone. It’s ok to be a cougar. Especially if he’s been waiting for six years like the kid from last night. Apparently waiting for six years after seeing a few photos creates a need to rip my back out. Last night I happily slept in the wet spots – yes plural – with that part of me satisfied for a moment if not satiated.