So last night I almost lost my job.
I stopped wearing underwear about 12 years ago. It was after Clyde got here but before one of the many reunifications of The Man and I.
You see once I freed myself from cotton prison there was no going back. Now I get that the panty free life isn’t for everyone but in the words of the youth a few years back: Y.O.L.O.
With me being a not of menopause aged woman I have to at times figure out how to manage my period and panty free life. At this point in my life I wear panties about 5 times a year and they are the most uncomfortable 5 times a year.
Once you’ve had the breeze on your vagina it is difficult to go back to breeze-less.
Due to a particularly disrespectful menstrual period this month, I had a period emergency yesterday. That is the I almost got fired part. I left my desk to go to Burlington to buy pants, wash supplies, and (sigh) panties.
I didn’t want to buy them but I had no choice. I spent the rest of the afternoon struggling with that “choice”.
My first issue was not knowing what size I needed. It’s been over a decade since I bought underwear and women’s underwear sizes don’t run like women’s pant sizes. I stood there dumbfounded unable to translate a size 8 into my size 18 ass. Frankly, I was confused as fuck. I finally opened up a pack looked and said I guess I am this size. I guessed right.
The next issue was one that persisted until 11 last night: the constant tugging and altering the panties I did not want to wear but had to wear. Every 15 minutes or so the band would annoy me and I would ask what the hell is this in my jeans? Oh yeah – panties.
This lasted allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll night long. I am sure that to some customers last night I looked like a crazy woman. I felt like one.
The constant adjustments drove me half batty and I was tempted more than once to say fuck this and throw those devil instruments in the trash.
I didn’t though. Like the “G” I am, I toughed it out. I will not confirm or deny if they did end up in the trash after my before bedtime shower.
I shouldn’t need to, you know me by now constant reader.
It is a nice day for a breeze.