Uppity is the new Black.
Once upon a time there was a girl named Aphrodite. Aphrodite didn’t like passive aggressive behaviors. It ticked her off immensely and she often fantasized about how when she was queen of the universe those displaying passive aggressive behavior would be sentenced to life in prison being forced to listen to people explain directly what they meant.
I choose my words carefully. I say what I mean and mean what I say.
If we do not mesh fully in our relationship there is a chance you will hear me say something like this:
I am responsible for the words that I say. I am not responsible for your interpretation of those words or your feelings when you hear those words.
I had to say something like that about 24 hours ago while in a meeting with the housing manager and a resident.
To shorten a lengthy story, I called this resident out on the carpet about behavior that was not appropriate and she ran and snitched. While I dislike snitches, what I dislike more is passive aggressive behavior.
For the past week or so this resident engaged in a whisper campaign and pulled her victim card out and frankly…..a bitch just had enough.
While I didn’t curse her out or call her names or any other type of abusive behavior….I was forced to explain myself to the woman who has the power to decide if I continue to live here or if I have to vacate. I was not amused.
She droned on and on and on and when it was time for me to respond she interrupted frequently. Amazingly enough I found that scintilla of self-control I still had and managed to not escalate the situation.
I listened as she brought up instances that happened literally months ago as fuel to her fire that I was a bad bad girl. I managed to bite my tongue and not display the disgust that existed for this “peer”.
When I got the opportunity to speak and I mentioned a fact about me that you already know………things almost went to the PNR.
I say what I think. There is barely a filter on my head and mouth. I find it simpler for me and yes right now this is all about me, that stating my position divulges to you the information that you need to make an informed decision on whether or not to fuck with me. As I shared in that meeting my being outspoken is a consistency that is not new….I walked through the door this way, I will walk back out the door the same.
My “peer” responded that I was a lot “nicer” when I first arrived in this transitional location. Once I got my single room, I became UPPITY.
If you are a Black woman of a certain age you know the unspoken word that appears in the vicinity of UPPITY.
Often that silent word is NIGGER.
Am I an uppity nigger?
That is in the eye of the beholder. In this case the answer was yes.
The thing is, I am simply Aphrodite. You know what you are getting and I am uninterested is altering my life and behaviors to make you more comfortable. Your comfort is not a priority to me. This is especially true in this place and time where my singular focus is completing these days until they inform me my housing is ready.
It’s been almost a year since someone called me a nigger. That resulted in a physical confrontation. Yesterday was not physical, and in my head I think that it is only because she used her silent dog whistle rather than just popping it all out there like ole boy in the hospital.
Unfortunately for her, she chose a 72 hour period to push my buttons where my nerves are already frayed and my patience has gone fishing.
My response was to eviscerate her with words I believe she is still trying to find in the dictionary. I may drop a lot of F-Bombs but my lexicon is on Fleek – always.
In that moment I demonstrated I was better than her, smarter than her, and could play her game better than any of her prior opponents. In other words….. I ain’t that bitch.
She’s given me a wide berth since. I am gonna need her to keep doing that for my safety.
In the meantime, I am gonna go upstairs and pick out my interview suit. Hillary for America wants to interview me.
How about them apples. 🙂