This man is accused of raping women:
This man is also accused of raping women:
At the time I write this neither man is convicted of a crime. Only one, Cosby, was arrested for any type of inappropriate sexual contact.
There is a lesson to learn from each story though, if you are open to learning.
What is unique about these two men is their portrayal to the public as the all American guy next door.
Cosby’s biggest claim to fame is his character from the 1980s Heathcliff Huxtable. Cosby was known as America’s dad when he appeared weekly on television screens. A carefully crafted image was dispensed to the public of husband, Doctor, father and all around good human being. The Cosby Show was relatable and safe. In the world of the Huxtables there was no sexism, or racism, or trials and tribulations related to living in New York City in the 1980s.
“All” of America could tune in and appreciate the benign humor of this family of seven and the wholesome shenanigans that occurred. While Bill Cosby amassed a small fortune based on the Huxtables, women came forward to say Bill was not Heathcliff and something was foul with Cosby.
No one will ever confuse Bill Cosby with James Deen. Deen is an adult actor. He gets an erection and has sex with women for a living. Deen is the 180 degree opposite of Cosby including but not limited to age and race. Other than their Y chromosome the only other thing these men seem to have in common is the accusation from multiple women that they are rapists.
These two men are more representative of American rape culture than many wish to acknowledge.
“Sexual violence is a significant public health problem in the United States. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS), nearly 1 in 5 women and 1 in 71 men in the United States have been raped at some time in their lives and nearly 1 in 2 women and 1 in 5 men have experienced other forms of sexual violence victimization in their lifetime (e.g., made to penetrate someone, sexual coercion, unwanted sexual contact and non-contact unwanted sexual experiences).”
“Victimization often occurs for the first time before the age of 25 (e.g., 42% of female victims of rape in the U.S. report that they were first raped before the age of 18 and 37% report that they were first raped between the ages of 18-24).1 Victimization is also often by someone known to the victim, primarily by a current or former intimate partner or an acquaintance.”
Yes rape culture is a thing. If by chance you don’t think rape culture is a thing go up to the corner of your browser and hit back, or X this window. I am not going to entertain rape apology here on my blog, and will eviscerate those who want to challenge the factual data.
Rape culture exists and is furthered when men and women go out of their way to describe why good and wholesome people, like Deen and Cosby are statistically likely to have committed the crimes they are accused of perpetrating.
Both Deen and Cosby are different than the concept of what a rapist is in the dissonance headed. Rape is something other than whatever men are accused of doing to their victims, except the data on rape and sexual assault says otherwise.
These aren’t men who “need to rape”.
As if there is ever a time a person needs to rape.
Deen by profession and Cosby by reputation have access to all the consensual sex they desire. Women still emerge from the shadows and state clearly – what this man did to me I did not want and I did not consent to happening.
Both Cosby and Deen are the face of rape culture – men who are the archetype of what we thought rape was or is – a boogeyman in the shadows violently attacking women on the street.
While that does occur, frequently even, that is not how most women and men are violated.
In the case of Cosby over 50 women tell a similar story. Their assaults happened over decades to women from multiple walks of life and choices of careers. They say Cosby earned their trust, gave them no hints of deviance then drugged and either molested to penetrated them without their consent.
As written, that is rape.
Yet there is no shortage of people out here in the world who choose to excuse away this reported behavior.
In the instance of Deen, the women who’ve come forward detail a violence with him that at times included rape. He’s described as a man who enjoys degradation, humiliation, and physically over powering the women in his presence. In addition to rape they’ve described physical assaults which left the victims bruised and bleeding while Deen maintained a public persona of the porn star next door with feminist tendencies.
It is alleged that while Deen publicly championed women’s issues and equality for all, he consistently and persistently abused his co-workers and intimate partners.
looking just at these two men and their dozens and dozens of accusers, it’s time we looked at what rape is and who rapes.
Victims are often targeted before legal majority, or the age of 18. Victims are often targeted by a known to them assailant.
Victims often delay reporting. Victims can be pressured into recanting, even when their report is the truth:
We desperately need to look at the facts, the statistics and the victims and commit to altering our perception of rape if we are going to change our rape culture.