2015 Survey (151)

I check the registry to get the “official” countdown, to “the date”. At times I look for which item I will send. Like everything else around me the list grows smaller, my opportunities to make an impact smaller, my relevancy diminishing.

Systemically Erased.

January

Old Dog

Old Dog

What leapt out to me as I reviewed this one was THE PHOTO. At the old house there was a photo of me over the fireplace, I was about 3. I won’t ever own that photo again. Tears form as I type this as I am reminded of so many losses in 2015. I used to stare at that photo and wonder what became of that girl. Wonder why she couldn’t be protected, cherished, loved. I often wondered who she could’ve been if the world around her weren’t so invested in killing her innocence, her hope, her femininity, her dreams.

I won’t ever get answers to those questions like I won’t ever hold that photo again.

February

Rockwell Ave

Rockwell Ave

This was the month-ish I stayed with Tori. What’s mostly clear from this month is the specific understanding that I didn’t want to end up like her. Thus far I’ve avoided that, I’ve become something different. Time will reveal if it is better than worse.

March

Home Again

home again

I really missed my cat.

April

The Quiz

The Quiz….Revisited

Self explanitory

May

Haunted

Haunted

Seven months ago He returned to my dreams. It is a part of why I rarely sleep any longer, he lives in REM

June

2.0

2.0

A post Weekend Reunion blog. If I make it to Weekend Reunion 2016 at its new place and new time I wonder if it will affect me as deeply.

Right now I just want to figure out how to get there. I’ve got a little bit of time – not a lot but a little – to figure it out.

July

Ayuda

Ayuda Means Help in Spanish

A re-post of the GoFundMe Blog. We still haven’t hit our goal almost s year later.

August

He Called Me Nigger

Action

I fought him.

September

Fuck Bill Maher

Time’s Up

A glimpse of the me who used to be, I took a moment to type about the world around me. I don’t see much of the world around me these days. That is a problem.

October

My first blog for The SWExperts

Queer as Me

November

PNR

From 6600 to 192

This is where I left B to seek out answers to questions that I don’t want the responses and where I shoved a wedge between my spoon and me. I miss her so fucking much.

 

December isn’t over, I have more writing to do, I think.

 

 

Aphrodite Brown

About Aphrodite Brown

Aphrodite Brown is the owner and creator of Vizionz from the Bottom. Vizionz is a life and culture blog covering all aspects of life from pop culture, to politics, to parenting, with an extra heavy dose of alternative lifestyle & sex positive living.

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