I used to have a lisp.  I often forget about it it’s been since elementary school.  I was all Cindy Brady all the time though.

Today though I am writing about a truth of my life….my vocal chords are a speech impediment.

 

I explained to someone today the thing I’ve explained many times over….when I write you get the unfiltered me.

My head and fingers are connected even if I am using the iPad and the hardback keyboard is broken.

It’s been eight months since a did what she did.  I’m no less angry.  I have no less desire to watch her pay for the harm she’s caused.  I wait for things to get fixed and time rolls on.

21 days in November I spent learning how to do the impossible, how to breathe again and in less than 24 hours I will return.

Daily I mourn but I also exist daily. This is not living but it is inhaling and exhaling.

As I wait to hear from the people at Moss I realize I am perilously close to November 1 again.  I realize that I need the medication I object to taking and I need so much help.

Since I can see it coming this time I am working to avoid it.  While I don’t think it will be another 21 days I have to prepare my people that it might be, and assure them that yes I have those thoughts but no I can resist acting on them.  Today at least.

i have to do this even if I don’t want to do this