I used to have a lisp. I often forget about it it’s been since elementary school. I was all Cindy Brady all the time though.
Today though I am writing about a truth of my life….my vocal chords are a speech impediment.
I explained to someone today the thing I’ve explained many times over….when I write you get the unfiltered me.
My head and fingers are connected even if I am using the iPad and the hardback keyboard is broken.
It’s been eight months since a did what she did. I’m no less angry. I have no less desire to watch her pay for the harm she’s caused. I wait for things to get fixed and time rolls on.
21 days in November I spent learning how to do the impossible, how to breathe again and in less than 24 hours I will return.
Daily I mourn but I also exist daily. This is not living but it is inhaling and exhaling.
As I wait to hear from the people at Moss I realize I am perilously close to November 1 again. I realize that I need the medication I object to taking and I need so much help.
Since I can see it coming this time I am working to avoid it. While I don’t think it will be another 21 days I have to prepare my people that it might be, and assure them that yes I have those thoughts but no I can resist acting on them. Today at least.
i have to do this even if I don’t want to do this