He laughs in his sleep. He’s done it since he was an infant. 13 years later he still does. Even after a day like today which was stressful for him – he laughs in his sleep. I sit in the chair in his room tonight as I type this. It was the sound of his laughter that called me.
The universe blessed me with the best kid ever.
They tell me about his potential, his challenges, what to expect as high school looms and after that adulthood. Right now I just want to listen to his laughter.
His smile is awesome. It lights up his whole face and it radiates bright as our sun. He still giggles. Sometimes? a full body laugh comes out of his body that eliminates the capacity one might have for sadness. You cannot be sad when he laughs.
He laughs in his sleep.
It reminds me that when I think I am not doing all that can be done, that there is some rock I’ve yet to turn, he is happy.
I value his happiness over my own. Over just about everything. I don’t always make him happy. I make him take out the trash. I enforce bedtime. I put green things on his plate called vegetables and tell him he has to eat them. I tell him no.
i do all kinds of motherly things that don’t make him smile.
I do things that generate the soon to be patented Clyde side eye.
Through it all though, on many nights when he is resting and preparing to out grow yet ANOTHER pair of shoes…..he laughs in his sleep.
When he goes to bed at night he is safe – he is comfortable – he knows he is loved and his subconscious allows happiness to radiate through his head and it generates laughter.
I don’t laugh in my sleep. Lately I’ve been having nightmares. The fact that what ails me hasn’t infected him is no small feat. It tells me no matter what there is something I am doing right. I need that at times. Proof that I am getting him right.
When I might doubt it the most – my getting it right – the universe delivers the message through the laughter of my child.
It really is the best medicine.