Almost daily I giggle with my family about Gwyneth’s decision to “consciously uncouple” from her husband. The language I find absurd, and the thought that we are at a place in the development of the human condition that we are identifying this as a “thing” makes my side hurt from laughter.
This morning though in a coffee high I got to thinking about the things that I consciously choose.
It all traveled back to my identification as a feminist and the ways that it conflicts with my daily existence – on the surface at least.
Yesterday was primary election day in my home state of Pennsylvania. Months ago when my political mind wandered to this date I was positive that I would cast my vote for Allyson Schwartz and rejoice in the victory of the first woman nominated by the Democratic party for Governor and imagining her win.
Corbett won’t be simple to defeat, but the progress that comes with breaking that glass ceiling is progress that won’t be lost in my lifetime at least.
The most difficult struggle I’ve come across in my years come with the uterus contained in my abdomen, and all that goes with it.
Although I am:
- A Black woman
- A fat Black woman
- A fat intelligent Black woman
- A fat intelligent bisexual Black woman
- A fat intelligent bisexual opinionated Black woman
…the hardest fights always go back to my womanhood. It is all about the uterus and how that uterus is treated in society.
It reminded me of 2007/2008 when I summarily rejected one Barack Obama because of his penis and embraced Hillary Clinton because of her uterus. I watched a brilliant woman, an accomplished woman, a qualified woman kicked to the curb for the penis. Yes it was a Black penis which is its own form of history, but with penis comes privilege that does not come with uterus.
I watched this kid from Illinois with no experience jump ahead of the one person on any ballot anywhere who was the most qualified person ever to run.
Then yesterday I turned away from my feminism to embrace the reality that the uterus is not respected and penis wins again. I cast a ballot for Tom Wolf. Some rich White man who used the money siphoned from his penis privilege to obliterate a smart, qualified woman.
The following statement comes from her statement to her supporters after her substantial loss in the primary yesterday:
“We knew we would change Harrisburg and so many voters agreed with us. And tonight, we did better than any Democratic woman running for governor has ever done in Pennsylvania history, better than any woman running in the city of Philadelphia has done.
We made progress that everyone should be proud of.
Yet, the political pundits, the media, the Harrisburg establishment couldn’t believe a woman could serve as governor — couldn’t even imagine it. And denied it even mattered. And while it didn’t happen this year — it will happen in Pennsylvania and across the country.”
Funny… I got a little ticked off.
A lot ticked off actually. It brought back memories of how NOT valued I am and other women are and how much further in the struggle I have to go.
Right now I feel like being tired.
Instead of being tired though I have to make the purposeful decision to be the change I wish to see in the world around me.
Before I start there I have to go and thank the universe for giving me a child with a penis.