What’s the big deal anyhow?
I mean seriously, what is the big deal?
One of the things that’s always bothered me in the history of the world, or my world at least, is this concept that a woman untouched is some prize worth capturing and imposing a value on a woman based on her vagina frequent flyer miles – or absence there of.
A virginal woman is elevated in the minds of both men and women as all that is proper and pure. Women are encouraged to hold onto their virginity, until marriage, so that they can be of greater value to their husbands. Women are judged quite harshly if they reject this practice and embrace their sexuality and sexual needs.
What is rarely if ever also discussed is how this antiquated concept of holding onto virginity increases a woman’s chance to be abused.
A “loose” woman who is raped must overcome the perception that she is giving it away to everyone anyhow so how come she suddenly decided to say no in this instance.
Seven year old girls are raped on the continent of Africa because there is the urban legend that you can get rid of HIV by having sex with a virgin. So to not take chances men who are infected find the youngest and most vulnerable of our girls and injure them.
Our men choose “good girls” to marry and then rock the foundation of that marriage by finding “bad girls” to fuck because no wife should do the things that get them off.
It all revolves around the vagina and its sanctity. It all reduces women to being less than human beings and instead we are just vaginas.
Is this what is best for society?
I doubt it. I don’t doubt it simply because I reject the notion that because I have had more than one sexual partner I am less valuable as a woman. I doubt it because of the harm it causes and the ripples of that harm to our daughters.
We don’t teach our daughters that it is okay to desire and enjoy sex because it decreases their value in the eyes of society, and we sentence those girls to years of learning who and what they are while at the same time denying them the opportunity to simply exist.
We assign these words to a woman without thinking of the consequence that comes with having that word attached to a woman’s sexual behavior.
There are consequences.
It might be time that we thought about alterations to minimize those consequences.
It might be beyond time.