Old Habits

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In the months after ____ left AMP / Hafez and left Fetlife he and I found ourselves at odds. Okay, that might be an understatement.

He also found himself in the middle of some deep personal shit that affected him.  He lost his father.  I found no joy in that, nor will I ever.  Yes my personal empathy can extend even to one who might not deserve it based on their behavior.

His other women in his ‘house’ began to depart.

The why behind that is not something that I am privy to, outside of what he himself has shared publicly:

My little fuckin deserter is now on 6months probation.

Journal Entry | 5 Comments | 

On Mon, 18/10/10, I used to be Dove  wrote:

From: I used to be Dove
Subject: Petition for release of service and ownership
To: “Master Pimp Sir Ez” , “me”

Date: Monday, 18 October, 2010, 12:23

Namaste AMP Sir Ez,

This is the formal written petition for release of service and ownership. This one is breaking promise to self to never ask for release given the definition of the collar. Within any definition of a dymanic, the foundation is friendship. We will always be friends and business partners.

Our D.s Poly dynamic has broken. We are growing in two different directions. We are not productive together nor wish to be each other “cheerleaders”. TPE has broken. This one has lost the will to obey and serve unconditionally. You are done. We have broken our contract.

Life-time Collar
This is a special collar. This is offered to recognize a life-long bond between us. Even if you leave my service, having had this collar means that we recognize a responsibility toward one another for life. This acknowledges that I trust you completely and that you feel the same towards me. If the collar is removed, the responsibilities found in the
contract are null and void, except for one: we pledge that if one needs the other, the other will provide for the need as much as is humanly possible for them. We will amend contract every year on anniversary date for life changes and productivity.

Since a collar was never officially placed around ones neck, release stands the same as the acceptance of collar and ownership. Thru a phone call we had before this petition was written. Silent as the definition of the dynamic.

AMP Sir Ez’s
Mlfd

… … respect

My reply…

6 months of silence…

After the 6months you will be released officially when I state you are.

There will be no contact with others in the lifestyle for petition because you are still owned until I say.

In this time you will complete all task of Pimpstyle Products and close all sites and accounts connected to Pimpstyle.

you will be in contact with Me if there are in questions and only Me.

you will not be included in any outings as family while in your probation period.

If you so choose to attend anything connected to the lifestyle it will be under My protection.

you will stay silent as mlf deserter.

your accounts will only reflect your personal lessons learned during this time, to be viewed and approved for public posting by Me.

This is by your request so only you have the ability to petition for adjustment after your 6 month probation.

During your probation there will be no use of your sites under the name mlf deserter without My approval other than games on FB.

Until I say differently you are still owned By Me.

you now have 6 months of silence

Make it work for you.

Without self-knowledge, we cannot go beyond the mind.
—J. Krishnamurti

I like my friends like good tissue. Soft to the touch, but strong enough to deal with some real crap

respect

5 Comments (leave comment)

My reply

No Sir,

As the thought of 6 months probation, silence, reflection period sound like a tempting burfday present, it is not proper protocal of dismissal of a sub. And You know it.

The word of the day is free-will. And as a grown azz adult, i have that right to exercise free will.

posting petiton with email address is a breach of security. Now i do not feel safe to add.

I asked for release and the same as safe-word, it stops the D.s relationship. Time for us both to move on and be productive.

Read the contract.

… … respect

Good…

So consider yourself released.

Now you can go play on holoween with whoever ya want…

Hope our paths don’t pass…

evil grin

See you around.

respect

My protocol is My protocol…

If you can’t respect that?

Then do you…

But consider this connection burnt beyond friendship.

And yes, I’m gonna be a Bitch about it.

See you around.

respect

Retrieved from www.fetlife.com (https://fetlife.com/users/46783/posts/450334)

 

[Editor’s Note – This post has been altered to remove the email addresses that were contained in this post.  These were the only alterations made to this post.  This can be verified by clicking the link listed above.  The narrative of the conversation remains unedited by me – AB]

I share this one example to set up this next portion of the story.

For reference, these relationships are consensual in nature, even the dynamic of master/slave.  When one person withdraws their consent to continue to behave as if it still exists is abusive.  In cases where that behavior is physical in nature – meaning that consent has been withdrawn and you still engage in S&M or sexual intercourse as if consent were present – well that shit can get you an orange jumpsuit and a room with a view at your nearest penitentiary.

One of Hafez / AMPs favorite sayings is this lifestyle is not a game.

Ignoring the withdrawal of consent is no game either.

Mlfd – or Dove as she was known then – paid this man the courtesy to officially request release.  She didn’t have to do that.  Now one can go on and one about protocols in this lifestyle but the bottom line is once consent is withdrawn your interactions have to change.  PERIOD.

As you can see from his response, this “man” has a nasty habit of ignoring that. Dove withdrew her consent and his response was NO, I own you until I say I don’t.

Now thankfully for her, she did not live in his house, and there were no other attempts to hold onto her or confine her after her consent was removed.  Dove had a freedom to leave that she exercised.  His response to that was no.  He tells on himself in this case.

I share this because as of this writing the woman known as Dove still has an open and active account on Fetlife.  She’s since moved on to another dynamic, but should Hafez / AMP decide that he wants to talk about her, lie about their relationship, or attack her character she can defend herself in that forum.

____ does not have an account on Fetlife.  Anything that Hafez says about her cannot be clarified by her.  She cannot at this time defend herself, or her actions in that forum.

I share this because in the years since I first spoke out about the abusive behavior of Hafez his narrative has been consistent.

I am a liar, ____ is still committed to him and their “friendship” and I am making up these stories for my own personal agenda.

My agenda is simple.  I see a disruptive presence in this lifestyle.  I want people to know that this “man” is disruptive.  Not everyone who reads these words will agree.  Not everyone who reads these words will feel as strongly as I do about his treatment of this woman.  Agreement is not a requirement.  You will do as you wish with the information shared.  Not having the information however allows this “man” to walk among us, and opens us up to danger.  There might come a time in the future where this man opts to not take no for an answer with a different result than what you see above.  There may come a time when it is your friend, your daughter, your sister, or even you who succumbs to this “man’s” charm. There are any number of reasons why our community SHOULD know about this man, but I think the most important one is simply knowledge.

Some walk in this life authentically, others send their representative out to engage in this life.  We should know if we are seeing the real Hafez or his representative.  I leave that decision to the reader, and do with it what you will.

One thing that is true to the human condition is that old habits die hard.

For ____, her old habits are love, humanity, and Hafez.

When he found himself in the hospital after an emergency appendectomy he called on her.  He was ill, and alone, not even his mother came to care for him in his time of need, but ____ did.

She was just getting her life back on track when that call came, but the humanity in her could not allow someone she cared for to suffer.  She returned to DC to nurse Hafez back to health.

The ties that bind us are strong.  They increase in strength with proximity. They increase in strength with familiarity.

Back under the roof of this person, in service to him in is time of need, and doing what had become so familiar over the years, ____ found that old habits die hard.

It did not help that in typical fashion, Hafez allowed her to believe that he would/could change if she agreed to return to slave training with him.

I won’t say there was zero gratitude on his part for her compassion.  That would be reading his mind, a power I do not have.

I will say that abusers will wear the mask needed to tear down defenses and insinuate themselves in your life.  His offer to her was in thanks for getting him back up on his feet, she could live with him as she located a job in DC.  He missed her.  He appreciated her.  They could make it different this time.

 

Sadly it was not.

 

Aphrodite Brown

About Aphrodite Brown

Aphrodite Brown is the owner and creator of Vizionz from the Bottom. Vizionz is a life and culture blog covering all aspects of life from pop culture, to politics, to parenting, with an extra heavy dose of alternative lifestyle & sex positive living.
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2 Responses to Old Habits

  1. Tchara says:

    Is the author involved in BDSM?

    So far I’ve read 4 chapters and don’t see abuse. I do see someone who isn’t very stable and successful attempt to have too big a stable but as a slave myself I see much of his asks as normal.

    I do see that to the casual observer things seem different but much of what the author labeled as abuse was not, even in the vanilla world.

    I do like how Dove handled herself, speaking up but without being too messy, putting everything in public. I was able to read between the lines yet she still didn’t damage his reputation. He even recovered unscathed yet some of his pain still showed.

    • Aphrodite Brown says:

      The author? Meaning me?

      Yes. I’ve lived this life for decades now.

      I absolutely see abuse, but if you do not I accept that.

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