Crossroads

zwani.com

zwani.com

In the years since their first separation I’ve been clear about my opinion on Hafez / AMP.  There is not a person on Fetlife who needs to guess at where I stand.

I do not like his behavior.  I do not like his treatment of  ____.  I find him disruptive, abusive, and consider him to be an example of what can go wrong in this lifestyle.   I have many reasons for my position that extend beyond his treatment of ____.  I’ve opted to focus though on this issue in this series.

This is not about me piling on, and creating a movement to erase him from our life.  I could write 2-3 novels about what is wrong with Hafez, and his pimpstyle presence. I could open so many cans of worms that SyFy would make a movie about it.

I’ve chosen though to tell one woman’s story, and out of respect for her I am staying on topic.

This topic also includes admitting that I go hard in the paint when I comes to AMP.  My personal animosity aside, I’ve attempted to only call out his behavior in these exchanges.  Do I always succeed?  I doubt it.  I am imperfect.

When I am asked though, when I post, my repetition is examine the behavior.  When I speak about abuse in this lifestyle I always go back to examine the behavior.  When AMP engages me personally, well I tend to deviate from that narrative.

Here is an example of one of our exchanges:

So for many of you to THINK you know what the fuck is going on in My realm is some bullshit.
And thus My reasoning for Mind Fucking many of you too.
Like a bunch of closet mental cases are actually any help to someone who is actually going though some personal mental problems of their own.

So I invite you to this lil post for your comments on front street.
Because that’s where I dwell in Hell.

So here we go…

AMP_Sir_Ez I deserve more… and until I get it? Nobody is gonna like Me not being satisfied until I do. evil grin It’s just that simple. I deserve better. … … respect about 9 hours ago (delete)

NVBdaMVP It is not about you deciding that someone is not the best fit for your needs. Adults understand that, it has happened to most of us, and we move on and get the fuck over it. What it is about is your absolute bloviating ignorance that has zero respect and compassion for another human being. If you feel your needs are not being met, there is a way to separate yourself from that situation without attempting to strip the humanity and dignity away from a person who cooked your food, sucked your dick, washed your shit stained tightie whites, and took your neglect and abuse. Not only did you not do that the first time, you did it in the most disgusting fashion possible. No man nor dominant has the right to extend their dysfunction onto someone they say they have released, but you did it. And when your ass got sick she came back and nursed your ungrateful ass back to health, and cooked your food, and sucked your dick, and washed your nasty ass draws, and took your shit, only for you to do it AGAIN. It would not matter if she came back to you 30 times to do the same thing and suffer the same abuse at your hand, that is irrelevant to the point that there is a standard of human decency and RESPECT you can not ever hope to obtain as long as you use and abuse those who attempt to serve you. It is reprehensible to dismantle a person and then leave them empty, and compound that by attempting to ruin their reputation so that someone who MIGHT appreciate what she can bring to the table won’t bother. It is selfish and on some I don’t want you but I don’t want anyone else to have you bullshit, and it is NOT the behavior of an adult let alone an adult male proclaiming dominance.

Retrieved from www.fetlife.com (https://fetlife.com/users/46783/posts/1223649)

[Editor’s Note – My prior Fetlife handle was NVBdaMVP]

I can tell you this was one of our more polite exchanges.

He & I have engaged one another frequently over this topic.  In public and on Fetlife his narrative never deviates…

I am dysfunctional

I have issues

I haven’t met them and I am making up lies about his home life

I have to say that some of that is true.

I do have issues.  There are portions of my life that are dysfunctional.  If you’ve been here at Vizionz for more than 5 minutes you know that about me.  You know it because I tell you.

One of the things I’ve learned about life over time is that to keep secrets is to leave yourself open to attack.  While much of what I’ve shared with you over the years is to give hope to others, some of it is selfish. If I take all of the bullets out of your gun, I prevent you from being able to shoot me.

Hafez has never encountered this in an opponent before.  He also found himself in the unique position that I had information, about him, and he had no defense for it.  He brought a knife to a tank battle.

Faced with someone who did not fear him, who did not fear him airing their dirty laundry, and who came back at him with the truth of his situation, he reverted to using the illusion he crafted to discredit me.

Once again, ____ has no account at Fetlife and cannot rebut his proclamations. Using that to his advantage, anytime I came at his neck about his poor behavior he lied and said all was well in hell.

I never stopped confronting him though.

He never stopped trying to bring ____ back into the fold.  As her “slave training” continued after his recovery____ soon realized that this was not a new Hafez, this was the same old song remixed.  The difference this time was her separation from him reminded her of something she’d long forgotten – she was better without him.

There is a story about how one can experience water in their life.  They can go to the stream and grab at it with their fist.  That is one way, but with that way you cannot grab it, hold onto it, and take it with you.  If you remove your hand eventually it will evaporate and your hand will be dry.  Your other option is to go to the stream with an open hand.  When you put your open hand in the water it runs freely and caresses your hand.  You can have all the water you like in that moment because you presented yourself open.

Slave training with AMP was similar to the closed fist.  The tighter he tried to hold onto his old methods of control, the more the water, ____ got away from him.

She was no longer a woman trying in earnest to make a broken relationship work.

His attempts to re-train her continued to fail, and it was at that point he began to publicly shame her behavior.  Well, he’d always shamed her in public, but his campaign turned from shame to maintain control to shame to prevent her from finding someone worthy of her service it appeared.

It was just about a year ago give or take, when ____ found the courage to leave one more time.

I am happy to say that she has her own housing, is working, and is finding her own peace.  Her life like all of our lives is imperfect, but her future is brighter than its been in years.

Yes she has stayed in contact with Hafez.  Their interactions since she moved are between the two of them, but I can say without hesitation she’s not considered returning to any type of lifestyle dynamic with him.

His online presence sings the same old tune though… she’s mine and will always be.  Her actions tell a different story.

There is no happy ending here because this is a tale that is not yet finished.  The conclusion comes next.

 

Aphrodite Brown

About Aphrodite Brown

Aphrodite Brown is the owner and creator of Vizionz from the Bottom. Vizionz is a life and culture blog covering all aspects of life from pop culture, to politics, to parenting, with an extra heavy dose of alternative lifestyle & sex positive living.
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