It was that video that opened my eyes to an issue that floods my kinky community. The fine line between abuse and power exchange. While in this particular instance there is no fine line, it became clear to me how others might view our lives from the outside looking in, and make no judgment.
For those who do not live this life, who do not seek power exchange, the very fact that we kinky people seek this out seems insane. To the outsider what we do in and of itself is abusive. Yet, myself and others can testify that in a healthy relationship we are not abused.
Most of us who choose this lifestyle live it without the harm that you’ve read existed in the dynamic between Hafez / AMP and ____. I want to be clear that their lives are not the blueprint of how most of us exist. While we might look odd to you, most of us live in peace and without the emotional assault you’ve read about.
I also want to be clear as this story continues that what you read here is one instance of where things have gone wrong. What comes next is something that happens often in abusive relationships, the abuser will raise the stakes of the game.
In this lifestyle the choice to submit to the will of another is most often segregated into two words, or states of being – submissive or slave. I will over simplify the difference between the two for the reader.
A submissive makes the choice to defer to their dominant. The dominant is the leader of the relationship, the submissive follows by choice. A submissive who defers still maintains a veto of sorts, they can still say no to something the dominant directs. That power of veto can be exercised at any time within the relationship.
A slave makes the choice to defer to their master. The word slave is used to identify a relationship where the one who defers holds no power of veto. A slave will not say no at any point to their master.
While the complexities of these dynamics is so much deeper than I’ve written, for the reader to understand swiftly,____ was a submissive up until this point. While she rarely, if ever used her power of veto, it was at her disposal. Hafez / AMP changed the rules in the aftermath of her asking for release.
If she wanted to continue to have a house to live in, with him…. if she wanted to continue to eat, sleep, have some stability in her life while she looked for employment her only alternative was to return to service to him in the role of slave. He made it clear to her that in all their time together he’d been too “nice” to her and too lenient, and her breakdown was an example of that.
She was selfish and ungrateful and for her to actually appreciate all that he did for her, she would have to live as a slave, her right to refuse or deny removed from her. Her power to object denied.
Still off her prescribed medication, still under the manipulations of Hafez she agreed. While it might sound preposterous, please try to understand that this is a woman who over the years has been emotionally battered to the point that her ability to trust her own judgment was eroded beyond recognition.
If you question that I take you to a writing from his own page. You will see for yourself that a woman who endured for years in the conditions I’ve described, and compelled by her love for a man who was not worthy of her love and dedication to him chose this path:
“Wednesday, 19 May, 2010, 19:46”
What serving a Master means to me as a Slave in training
The beginning phase of petitioning to be Slave Sacred One to Alpha Master Pimp Sir Ez.
as i read the definition of a slave online and the many conceptions and what is required of a slave vs a submissive for her Master.
Here is my understanding of what is required of me to move forward in Your dynamic and as a person that desires to be something more and better as your Slave
a slave gives her all as well as her freedom to her Master and that is given freely. a slaves main concern is pleasing her Master First before herself. Trust and surrender is my starting point of becoming a Slave. she no longer has the right to question why. Master’s bidding is just done. there is no longer a safeword that
option is no longer. Yet there is a trust build on faith that Master’s wants and needs will not be harmful only a more stern discipline for obedience as the slave serves her Master. As His slave my choices are given to my Master and consent and obedience is assumed to be a part of my slavery.
as a slave you will be allowed to give your opinions when ask and at that time the slave will speak on the matter. this is done so that both have an understanding and trust continues as they grow in their relationship. that communication, mutual understanding and trust grows to a point that it is now no longer play it is a part of the slave life even when the slave is not in the Master’s presence.
as a submissive you are a volunteer. this one will no longer be a submissive but a Slave with a submissive nature. what is meant by volunteer is that a submissive can choose when, where, and what, how long
you desire to be in service especially if you’re not 24/7 and then if you are 24/7. a submissive can bargain/determine what she will and will not do and it can’t be held against her by the one she serves.
as a slave you are not a volunteer. the slave gives her will totally over to her Master and he ensures that she gets all her needs. a slave is there for the sole purpose of pleasing her Master and not just in a sexual way that is probably the least of things that her Master may need, want and desire of her serving Him. she is there to please him is anyway that pleases him. setting his clothes out, cooking, conversation, organization and fulfilling his request in a timely manner when the task has been assigned. she is obedient and disciplined in how to serve Her Master. there will be times when the slave may be ask to do something that she/i may not like; realizing that is not to belittle her as a person
only through the slaves desire to serve and obey her Master can she achieve this secure bond and trust in her master’s bidding. to be obedient is a slaves and my major focus as i serve Master.
All that this one has written is how i perceive to move forward in my slavery to be the best Slave to Master if he should accept this one’s petition to be His slave and trained by Master in the manner he may see fit as i give him my freedom by choice and freely. Believing and trusting in Master and his pimpstyle way! continuing to learn and find better ways of pleasing Master
Here is the petition this one would like to present Alpha Master Pimp Sir Ez
on this day 19 May 2010 this one who will be called Sacred one or S1 would like to petition to be a partner in your personal dynamic of your pimpstyle crew. to become your slave and serve you Master as you train me to
fit your needs. this is this one’s desire after some thought and understanding of the commitment i’m bonded to as a slave serving you. to be discipline by you to receive well discipline spanking and in the manner you see fit that is not harmful to me as your slave in your care. as your slave my will is yours. understanding that this one is not a doormat and communication and input will be needed and you will seek that from S1 at your choosing.
to put others even myself before you is an offense
As your owned submissive with the name given to me by You ,Mlfu and a masochist. that was a journey which is now my past and can be looked at as a positive step and lessons learned to move forward to Our new journeys. it was not done by this one the right way and is understood and NEVER will happen again that’s not an option nor my goal. this one’s #1 goal is to be the Best damn Slave serving the Best damn
Dominant in her mind, body and soul and understanding and presenting his Pimpstyle Way of Life/lifestyle dynamic. these are not just words but what this one believes and nothing will show it better than my actions. this is well understood and begins Now. if the petition is accepted by you Master Ez
1) as your slave through your training of this one and will be determined by You Master AMP Sir Ez what i am. in my soul, body, mind and spirit i am your slave desiring to please you with my service at all times. old habits are somewhat hard to break and not easy to let go of. that is negative thought and real. knowing that you will be re-socialzing and re-educating me with your needs and your wants as i become your obedient one is welcomed.
2) i give my all as well as my freedom to you if you decide to be my Master. this comes with never questioning you are your decisions. i give you
that power freely as a slave should with the understanding that you know and will provide this one with her needs.
3) this one’s major focus will be on you First as my Master not myself always putting Master first and to be obedient. a Good slave is obedient and obeys her Master.
4) permission will be ask for some of the following and some will be told through Master’s training of S1. All is left open if Master would like to add others it’s His decision
to use the toilet
to take a shower
visit with family and friends
to spend money
my funds will to His
what to wear to bed
who to communicate with or NOT
how to serve him his food
where to sit and how in his presence (all will be readdress as S1 is retrained for her Master as his slave)
when out in public my stance and where
aftercare for his D/s dynamic
at his request
5) as a 24/7 slave all his needs for work and home will be taken care of at his request or not that are not provided by his poly D/s dynamic. my concern is only Master’s needs and that they are taken care of at all times and that he is pleased and to keep the M/s relationship successful and happy to all involved.
this is a new beginning and moves us forward down the rabbit hole that is indefinite in where it leads to and ends. there is no ending for S1 only continuous growth with Master we are defined as S1 learns and grow with her Master mentally, physically and most of all spiritually in life and this lifestyle of M/s
last be not least S1 would like to express that she is truly grateful to be given a second chance on a much more committed level to serve and obey a Master/Dominant who has proven himself to this one more than once giving my all as well as my freedom by choice and freely to Alpha Master
Pimp Sir Ez humbly and committed to serve and obey Master as his slave Sacred one (S1). nothing and on one comes before my Master. it is Master’s choice and will be his decision to revisit this agreement to ensure this one is serving Master as he desires and needs from His slave. this one’s mind is open and it belongs to my Master.
“Now you know”
… … respect
(Retrieved from www.fetlife.com ) https://fetlife.com/users/46783/posts/350263
While this was shared as allegedly her words and her understanding to him only the two of them know for sure if she wrote it. I will not speculate about that. I will say though the level of desperation one must feel to think they could exist in this fashion after all that was done to them previously is a level of desperation that I hope none of us ever reaches.