Ask Aphrodite : Sex & Marriage



Hi Aphrodite!

A friends of mines told me about your blog.  She said that you had good tips on how to add kinky stuff to your sex life.  I want to try some new things with my husband so I read some of you posts. Sex is supposed to be for marriage we aren’t supposed to be running around having sex with everybody because we are hot in the pants. I don’t understand why you are telling women that its okay for them to run around having all kinds of dick up inside them all different sizes and doing things they should only be doing with their husband.  You got a white liver or something? I thought when I got here I would find some good tips, but you ruin that by  saying its ok for women to be sluts.  Why can’t you share sex tips in a responsible way?

It is rare that I will get an inbox like this one.  Most of my feedback applauds my outlook on sex and life.  Many readers find it refreshing that I don’t regurgitate the historic view that women have been taught about sex and sexuality.

I see that you do not agree.  That is fine!  We are all entitled to our opinions, we are not entitled to our own facts.

I she personal history, some of which was responsible, others not so much.  It is my own history and good or bad, it is what I did.  I share my stories to let women know they are not alone in their situations, and that who they are is acceptable.  The world tells women, and especially Black women they are less than, and they are to behave in a manner determined by men hundreds of years ago.

It is the year 2014, and what our ancestors had to do because of how they lived is not necessarily the life we have to live today.

I advocate for women to understand that their views on sex and sexuality have been shaped by men, by religion and that if they have feelings that are different than what we’ve been told is normal, that maybe the answer is to reconsider where that normal was created.

It is responsible for a woman in 2014, to love herself – to love her body – and to love her sexuality, however  that sexuality presents for her.  I suggest that safer sexual practices be used.  I suggest that STI testing and pregnancy prevention be a part of the conversation.  I suggest that all activity be done by those 18 and older with clear consent present between all involved.  I suggest that blame and shame be left out on the porch and not brought into the bedroom.

That is responsible even if you can’t see it.

My message is not for women to do things because I said to do them.  I ask women to listen to themselves, listen to their bodies and make the decision that is best for them.

I encourage women to have orgasms. I encourage women to find sexual partners who care about their pleasure as if it were their own.

I show a path that includes sexual freedom, without condemnation for those who are not ready for the underground railroad.

My own views are not based on patriarchy, religion, or oppression.  While so much of Western society is based there…..that is not what you will find here.

I simply cannot in good conscience suggest that the only one twue way to have sex, for adult women, in the 21st century is within the confines of a marital bed.  You will never find that here in THIS blog.

What I can say is that I am a woman who has great sex.  If you want tips and suggestions on having some great sex of your own, then you might find some of that here.

If you are looking for someone to tell you which prayer to send up to god to send you that right man and husband, you might want to go here.  They cater to the god fearing women who are waiting for Mr. Right. Fair warning though, they will also tell you that your desire to spice things up in your relationship is deviant.

So your options are to be told that your sexual desires you want to express with your husband are wrong and should be suppressed… or

you can keep coming back and keep reading and maybe find that your sex life with your husband is more fulfilling with all the heathen tricks I’ve learned being a god-less woman who fucks.

I thank you for taking the time to send me a message though, feedback of all variations are welcome.  I will not always agree, but I do always appreciate.


Aphrodite Brown

About Aphrodite Brown

Aphrodite Brown is the owner and creator of Vizionz from the Bottom. Vizionz is a life and culture blog covering all aspects of life from pop culture, to politics, to parenting, with an extra heavy dose of alternative lifestyle & sex positive living.
This entry was posted in A Glimpse into the process. Bookmark the permalink.