Vanessa sat on the front steps of her borrowed home. She’d never think of the home as hers, always borrowed. It was a sunny August afternoon, not nearly as hot as Philadelphia can be and she was grateful. She was nervous enough with her wait and anticipation, the 8th level of hell that can be Philadelphia summers was not needed. She glanced up at the passing traffic. Men, women, families, all off to their destinations. The timing of the traffic lights often trapped cars on her street and gave her little glimpses into the lives of the masses. Most times she could create a story in her mind about the passersby, but this afternoon she could only muster a frown of disappointment that the cars did not contain her companion.
The bass guitar of Limp Bizkit’s Rollin’ bounced off her ears drums and she returned to waiting. This part was always the hardest, the wait. Patience was not one of her better qualities. She opened a game of solitaire on her iPhone and chuckled. Solitaire was the appropriate game, but tonight at least she would not be alone. The minutes ticked by and the cards on the screen shuffled. Vanessa waited. Rollin’ transitioned into Diddy Dirty Money and Vanessa waited. She bit her bottom lip as the puzzle of the game seemed to be beyond her ability and then bit it harder as a breeze enveloped her. Her nipples responded to the stimulation and Vanessa was reminded that she was a bundle of nerve endings. “Breathe”, she muttered to herself and forced herself to focus on the game, and the music. Dirty Money transitioned into Mystikal and still she waited.
Vanessa gave herself a moment to look at her legs in the sun. She studied the scar on her right thigh, the curve of her calves and wondered if he recalled the last time he’d seen them. She was sure that he did. He seemed to remember each detail of their handful of encounters. As she imagined his voice recalling just how he knew this day would come, her vagina began to throb. She closed her eyes and reminded herself to breathe again. Breathing would not help, but it would keep her from bolting back into the house, locking the door and hiding. She was afraid of what would come. She had every right to fear, her connection with him was intense. Her response to his presence inspired in her the feelings she’d ignored now for almost a year. She feared what awakening those feelings would mean for her balance. She needed her balance back. The night ahead might return it, or it might set her world on fire with no extinguisher in sight.
She looked at the cars trapped on her street once more. There was still no sight of him. Vanessa waited. Amerie’s 1 Thing began and Vanessa bit her lip again. There was one thing about David that had her trippin’. In her peripheral vizion she saw a white vehicle slowing. It stopped directly in front of her. She looked all the way up and the first thing that she noticed was his smile. Her vagina throbbed. She rose and took her ear buds out of her ears. It seemed to take an hour to walk the 15 feet from her step to the Rav4. In reality it was only seconds, but the mind can alter time when it reminisces. Her mind saw a different car. Silver Nissan Altima, pristine in its presentation. Her mind saw a different man. Taller, slimmer, caramel and magnificent. The man who waited, David was not physically the same as the man she saw. She thought to herself, that’s good, very good. She continued to walk, reaching out for the door handle. She recalled a different door handle, and tried to push the memory from her mind. It was stubborn and static and remained. She pushed ahead though, this was needed. It was also wanted, but it was needed, in a way that she’d not needed anything for some time.
As she slid into the seat of the Rav4 and looked over at David she smiled. The smile was genuine. David leaned in to kiss her. She wanted this kiss. She’d daydreamed about this kiss. She’d longed for this moment. This was where she wanted to be, more than any place else. She still saw a familiar profile though as their lips met. It was not a profile of David, it was one burned into her memory, of a hairline freshly shaped, freed of dreadlocks, and speckled with gray hairs. On that day, four years prior there was no hello kiss. Today there was, and in her revelry of past meetings she allowed the warmth of David’s lips bring her back to the moment, to reality. Her vagina throbbed and dripped.
“Are you ready?” he asked?
“I am.” She responded.
She leaned back into the seat, settling into her seatbelt and making herself comfortable. The car accelerated and made a right turn at the corner of the street. Vanessa’s throbbing began to increase. She thought to herself, this is a very good sign. Lazily she turned to the right, to look at David. His permanent scowl was replaced with a smile. Not a smirk, but a smile and she relaxed just a little more. This was a moment she’d hoped for and actually prayed for, this moment with David. She was with a man that under different circumstances she could have loved as much as she loved The Man. This was a man whose physical chemistry and presence sent all of her senses into overload and gave her the desire to kneel. Throb. Drip. Throb.
The local all news am station played in the background. Vanessa watched her neighborhood from the passenger seat of the vehicle. David needed little direction; she made one small suggestion to get them to their destination faster. The ride was pleasant the ease they’d felt with one another in the past settled into the vehicle. Neither of them mentioned the smell that began to drift into their nostrils. The scent of arousal, Vanessa’s arousal, was strong. She occasionally squirmed in her seat, which was the wrong decision each time. Her shorts rubbed against her freshly shaved labia and made her need worse. She was horny. There was no other word for it, she was horny. She wanted to feel the weight of a man on top of her. She wanted to look up and see lust in his eyes, then look down and see lust in his crotch. She wanted to spread her legs wide and grind her clit against his mouth and tongue until he choked on what flowed from her. She wanted to be bent over and bitten. She wanted to wrap her ankles behind his knees as he pounded from behind. She wanted to squeeze him inside of her rocking and milking him with her own ecstasy. She wanted to scream out from pleasure until her throat was raw, and that rawness was rewarded with the sweet milk of his sperm, and when finished to do it all over again. She wanted to be fucked and owned and ravished. She wanted to be devoured and worshiped and in return to devour and worship.
She was in the vehicle to satiate all of those desires, and ones she’d yet to imagine. She was in the vehicle to exorcise the memories that still haunted her from an era that was over. It didn’t help that where David lived was in walking distance of where she’d spent her days, and nights, with The Man. It did help that the closer they got to their destination; her arousal was not the only one that was recognized. A sizable tent was growing in David’s pants. Vanessa stared at David’s crotch, unapologetic with her gaze. She wanted to reach out and massage it. She wanted to unzip him and examine it. She’d not asked permission to do such, and she knew that a break in that protocol would cost her.
I’ve paid enough in the past year she thought. It’s now time to collect.