Dating is a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by two people with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. While the term has several meanings, it usually refers to the act of meeting and engaging in some mutually agreed upon social activity in public, together, as a couple.
source – wikipedia.com
So I am going on a date. I am excited about it and apprehensive about it and afraid of it and looking forward to it all at the same time.
Yeah, I am all over the place with it right now which only serves to remind me that dating is for the young. I ain’t young.
I think I told you constant reader that I used to suck at dating. I don’t think a lot of that has changed, and when you combine that with the fact that I haven’t had a date outside of my relationship for a good 5 years…….this could be epic. Epic failure…epic success either or both but I think epic is the best word for it.
The who about the date is not important. Well not for this discussion. Let’s just call him guy x.
The thing about guy x is that he makes me feel all of those things I feel when I am really interested in someone. He makes me awkward and clumsy and eager. I’m not picking out china patterns or looking at happily ever after…its just a date…. but its NOT just a date.
Its a test for me to see how much patience I have for this single life thing.
Guy x knows this .. he knows my history and bless his heart he still said yes.
I know that I am not ready for a new relationship. Guy x knows that I am not ready for a new relationship. But I think I might be ready to be social again. maybe.
At the same time I am not ready for the whole getting to know you process…. kissing the frogs process…. back to sex with barriers process.
Those things don’t appeal to me, and the thought that I have to go back to that invokes sadness.
The possibility of falling in love again…. at some point waaaay down the line invokes the opposite.
I don’t think I will share all the ‘dirty’ details of the date when it happens. But then again I might. Stay Tuned.