Will I Walk Alone?

This is my new obsession:

 

The-Walking-Dead-Coming-to-HHN-LR

If you know what this is we are equally yoked.

I will admit that I have not watched this show from its beginning, or rather watched the show on Sunday nights on AMC since the beginning.  I’m not that big a fan of television, and I suppose that I am missing all kinds of good television.  It is 2012 though and I don’t have to miss it for long, if it’s really good.  The Walking Dead is really good.

I hear the graphic novels are better.  I will let you know when I get around to acquiring them.

In the meantime I want to talk about the show, why I love it, why I hate it, why I can’t stop watching it and the lessons I have learned.

I love the show because zombies die.  It’s really that simple.  Zombies shuffle across the screen then they die.  Killing zombies is a good thing, always.  There may or may not be a zombie apocalypse in our future here on the planet earth, but if there is or is not, it is always cool to watch zombies die.  I don’t fear a zombie reading my blog and seeking me out because zombies can not read.   Since a zombie can not read, I say… kill all the zombies.

I hate the show because I hate Rick.  People who know the comics tell me that Rick becomes a bad ass.  I need AMC to speed up this process. Right now Rick is a liability to the group and I am having quite the difficult time understanding why Carl who has become a bad ass hasn’t shot his father in the head.

Rick gets people killed on the regular, he is holding onto a morality and humanity that no longer exists, and after the death of his wife he’s going batshit crazy.  I’ve wanted Rick to die since he got stuck in the tank in Atlanta.  He won’t die.  People keep looking to him for leadership.  They don’t realize that he is killing them.  I could not be with this group, with this group telling me to follow Rick.  I also wanted Lori dead, but that got handled.  Praise mandisa.

Lori walked around saying things like “I don’t want my son to have a gun.”

In the middle of the zombie apocalypse.

See why I wanted Lori dead? Me?  I want my toddler equipped with a .22 and a full clip and be able to hit a target from 30 feet out.

I’ve learned that like in every other zombie movie, there are no fat zombies.  Fat people apparently get caught and get eaten past the point of coming back.  I’ve learned that when the zombies come I will be the last fat person on earth.  The upside of that is 6 months out from the epidemic I won’t be fat any longer.  The downside is I will have to not get eaten and keep people from shooting me until my near starvation shrinks my waistline.

I’ve learned that really smart people who I like are people who are going to have to shoot.  I listen to friends talk about how morally wrong it was to shoot Otis in the leg and I am already visualizing the way in which I will shoot them so that I can live.

I listen to them talk about the need for clean underwear and I see myself knocking them out, tying them to a tree, and hoping they get eaten quickly and how much I will miss who I thought they were.

I can see myself turning into Michonne very quickly, except I won’t be diesel like she is, and my ass is not nearly as round and the actress who plays her.

I hope the health of The Man is vastly improved by the time the zombies come.  It would hurt t wave at him as I leave him and run down the street.

 

 

 

About Aphrodite Brown

Aphrodite Brown is the owner and creator of Vizionz from the Bottom. Vizionz is a life and culture blog covering all aspects of life from pop culture, to politics, to parenting, with an extra heavy dose of alternative lifestyle & sex positive living.
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