Band of Gold

They say diamonds are a girl’s best friend.  I prefer emeralds, but neither is needed if you are popping the question.  Yes the question.  Yes will you marry me.

Tacori Item #617WS (note this is a men’s band…damnit!)



There are those out there who think I am against marriage.  I am not.  I never have been.  I simply see marriage different from how society tells me I should, in a less romantic fashion than my peers say that I should, and with the reverence not everyone shows the institution.

If you as a woman say, I don’t need/desire/believe I need to be married, the only thing that will get people to look at you in an even STRANGER fashion, is saying I don’t need/desire/believe I need to be a mother.

Once upon a time I said both.  Today, well a few days ago, I got the other half of that life that I thought was meant for others and not me.

He proposed.


I said yes.


I’ve actually said yes to a proposal once before in my life.  Unlike that time, I think that I might actually go through with it, you know the whole ceremony thing.

It’s about the timing and the person and I can think of no better time or better person.

For many its been a shock,


bitch you hate marriage!

Again, no I do not.  I reject the idea that marriage proves love.  I reject the idea that marriage is necessary for commitment.

I am not more committed after saying yes than I was before saying yes. I am no less committed after the yes.

What I am is overwhelmed by well wishes and congratulations that I am thankful for, and that I totally appreciate, and that I understand the place they come from, yet they bother me all the same.

There is this over excitement and over joy at my announcement that I find troublesome.

Again I don’t want to make it seem that I am not grateful for the positive energy, I am just un-nerved that it is coming.

When I said I was in love there was no rush to tell me how happy people were, yet to me that is more important than will you marry me.

When I was collared there was no rush to tell me how happy people were, and that is more important to me than will you marry me.

I have literally lost count of how many conversations over the years I’ve had where I’ve had to remind the married, that they do not hold the copyright on affection, devotion, and commitment.

Now at some point in the future, as we resolve the things that need to be resolved, I will have to say that with a band of gold on my finger.

Somehow, the strength of that argument is going to sound just a little different.

There’s also the:

  • have you set a date
  • are you looking at dresses
  • do you have a registry
  • have you started a guest list
  • why are you not knee-deep in planning right now!






When it happens it will be extra small and extra quiet and I am hoping that I can convince Him to let me wear sneakers and jeans.  The biggest pomp and circumstance will be taking my marriage certificate to the Social Security Department to verify the name change.

No rubber chicken, no overpriced beef, no bridesmaids in dresses they can never wear again.

No reception where we pay an absurd amount of money for people to get drunk and trip over each other trying to do the Electric Slide.

It’s about us, not about the world. It’s about two and those two are all that matters.

I thank you all for being happy for me, even if my display of my happiness is not done in a manner you are used to seeing.



About Aphrodite Brown

Aphrodite Brown is the owner and creator of Vizionz from the Bottom. Vizionz is a life and culture blog covering all aspects of life from pop culture, to politics, to parenting, with an extra heavy dose of alternative lifestyle & sex positive living.
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