Wild Wild West

It is rare that I get the opportunity to combine two of my passions sex and politics.

I never thought that I would be saying these words: Thank You Alan West


Freshman Representative Alan West (R) from the great state of Florida is in the news…again….because of something he said allegedly said.

The Grio.com picked up a story that was broken by a gossip columnist in a south Florida news paper.  Now, I tend to not get my news from Page 6 and Necole Bitchie, but then again I am not the managing editor of The Grio.

Regardless of where the story started, it is out there, and like the truth I am going to take a look at it.

While West was deployed in Iraq, you know that tour of duty where he was forced, eased, ummmm well, after firing a gun near the head of an Iraqi policeman believed to have valuable information during an interrogation, he faced a disciplinary hearing and “retired” with pension shortly after.

During that tour of duty in Iraq, West allegedly wrote letters home to his wife.  Okay.  Nothing interesting about that I suppose.  These letters that he sent home were allegedly explicit.  Okay.  Nothing interesting about that I suppose.  There are words in the letter – allegedly – like non negotiable…..


unh hunh…. non negotiable

Alan West is a Tea Party Republican full of god and country first and the moral high ground that those nasty dirty liberals lack. He’s a good christian man, who fucks his wife and wants her to wear two piece bathing suits while they are on vacation, what is wrong with that?

Nothing – Everything – and all that falls in between.

The letter (if it is genuine and if it contain what it is alleged to contain) is in truth a non factor.   A man wrote home to his wife and said essentially I am quite horny, I can’t wait to come home and do dirty nasty things to you, and as your husband I expect that you will do those nasty dirty things back to me.

It was leaked (if it exists) in an effort to remind voters with a uterus that Alan West hates women.  It was designed to show a man, who married a woman, and thinks that her body belongs to him, that he owns her, and that she is obligated to indulge his freaky desires.  To many this can be a turn off, and to many it could be the nail that seals West’s departure date from the House of Representatives.  Of the things that West has done, in my opinion, this should be the least important thing, but let’s look at it anyway shall we?

West is alleged to have written the following:

“Angela, I need to know, are you committed to being my porn star?…I do not want to hear ‘no’ or ‘we’ll see about that.’ I want my fantasies to be with you. God has authorized you and you only as my partner for intimacy and that is what I want….Get ready!”

If you take away that icky reference to god, you have a relationship that is sought by many in the BDSM community.  BDSM extends beyond the whips and chains that excite me so much, it is also a mindset.

Domination and submission is not contained only with those who practice sadomasochistic sexual acts.  There is a term for this kind of relationship and it is 1950’s household.  It is also sometimes referred to as a Taken In Hand ( TIH ) relationship.  It is an intimate relationship between a couple where the woman has determined that she will submit to her husband.  It does not mean that there will be floggings and spankings, it means that there is a power exchange where the wife chooses to defer to her husband in all ways.

Now back the Mr. and Mrs. West. ….

The alleged letter has not been published in its entirety, but with excerpts like this:

The congressman proceeds to tell his wife he expects certain intimate acts upon his return that will be “the standard and it is non-negotiable.”

It sort of makes you wonder, what the hell was he asking of his wife Angela?  My thought is  unless he was requesting a gang bang with Angela and 17 German Shepards there is nothing to see here.

We the people are honestly and truly too obsessed with the sex that others might be having in their own bedrooms, and this is in part of an example of that obsession.  How DARE this man tell his wife that within the confines of their monogamous relationship that he wants to be sexually satisfied!  The motherfucking nerve!

In part because I find Alan West 1 million percent repulsive, I have no interest in what he does with his sex life.  Except

This would be a perfect time for West to not run from his freak but embrace it.  There are somethings that should be off-limits in politics, and your sex life with your husband or wife really should be one of them.  West with all of the arrogance and bravado he mustered to call the Democratic Progressive Caucus communists, should simply say…. so?

He won’t do that of course, because conservatives run away from public acknowledgements that sex happens.

No pre marital sex!

No birth control!

No abortions!

No Planned Parenthood!

No condoms!


Sex is bad, sex is the enemy, sex is ruining the moral fabric of America.


This is a chance for a conservative to step up and bolster the values that the right claims to hold so near and dear to their heart:

This is a man who wants to fuck his wife.  He should really step up and say, I talk the talk and walk the walk.  I am not out buying hookers, or pressuring pages into blowing me in the Congressional coat room, I sent a letter to my wife.  I am a monogamous man, interested in having a full and complete relationship with the woman who I married before god and 300 friends as we ate rubber chicken.  What we do in our marital bed is no one’s business but our own.  My healthy and monogamous sex life with my wife, the mother of my children, has no bearing on my ability to draft legislation that will help the people of Florida live better lives.

Except…. West can’t say that…not just because he is a conservative and he must run away from mentions of sex as if it were living breathing leprosy, but because well

he is bat shit motherfucking crazy and there is nothing that he can do in the House of Representatives that will improve the lives of anyone, let alone his constituency in the great state of Florida.

In the meantime, I will simply say shame on those who pick this story up and use it in an attempt to impeach the character of Representative West.  This is not an issue…. or at least it should not be.

But hey!……its only my opinion.

About Aphrodite Brown

Aphrodite Brown is the owner and creator of Vizionz from the Bottom. Vizionz is a life and culture blog covering all aspects of life from pop culture, to politics, to parenting, with an extra heavy dose of alternative lifestyle & sex positive living.
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