***Author’s Update: Since this post was written VH1 has opted to shelve the limited run series Ev & Ocho. On August 14, 2012 Evelyn Johnson filed for divorce from her husband Chad Johnson. The marriage was 41 days old.***
On September 3, 2012 VH1 and Shed Media are/were scheduled to bring you the Ev & Ocho Show.
It would be/is a limited run reality series filmed around the planning and eventual vows of Chad Johnson and Evelyn Lozada.
On August 11, 2012 Mr. Johnson was arrested in Florida and charged in what is being described as a domestic incident.
There was an argument (maybe) about a receipt for condoms (maybe) and there was a headbutt (maybe) and there it goes.
One looking at the outside at this situation has no way of knowing what happened, or if ANYTHING happened.
That is the problem with a regular domestic violence case, only the ones present know what happened. When you compound the situation with media attention seekers, reality stars, and those with a brand new show to promote…well one might question the validity of the claim.
Let’s not though. Let’s assume that it’s happened just like it is being reported:
Evelyn finds a receipt for condoms in the car and confronts Chad. Now what?
I will first state that I don’t think that a man should ever hit a woman in anger. With that disclaimer out of the way….I am finding it difficult to have empathy for Evelyn.
I do not ever think that a woman brings an ass whuppin on herself, yet I am finding it difficult to find empathy for Evelyn.
I don’t think that any woman should suffer in silence if she is being abused, yet…
I think that adults need to take responsibility for themselves and their choices. I am not seeing any of that from the outside looking in at Evelyn’s life. I am the first person to say that love will make you do some silly things, I just don’t think that it means you lose and harm yourself along the way.
What do we know?
Evelyn was in a long term relationship with a NBA player.
Evelyn has had at least one fling with another NBA player.
Chad Johnson is a NFL player.
I understand the excitement and allure of professional athletes, I’ve been there and done that. I also understand the character that it takes when the relationship ends to go back to your regular life. When you’ve been driven in Bentleys, when you’ve eaten what’s been cooked by a personal chef, when you can drop your partner’s name and walk out of a store without having to ever touch your wallet that is tough to give up.
It’s why so many of these women find other athletes to settle down with if the first relationship does not work. If you are like some ladies, born in the Bronx in the projects, who had to struggle for money you are willing to take the chance on another athlete instead of heading back to the projects.
As reality television has shown us, it’s not these women have a lot of world experience, or culture. Its not like many of them have their own identities other than being Mrs _____________ or baby momma to ___________.
That is not an excuse for a man to beat a woman, but it erodes at the empathy factor. You see if you are a woman, looking for a monogamous relationship I do not suggest you look to professional athletes. I will not make the stretch to say that there are no monogamous athletes, I am simply saying it is highly unlikely that given the opportunity that exists for these men that they will choose only one.
I am also not saying that a woman who desires monogamy shouldn’t demand it of her partner. I am saying that when Kobe Bryant, or in this case Chad Johnson says I Do, the likelihood of them staying monogamous is small.
In the case of Mr. & Mrs. Johnson, we got to see some of their courtship on Basketball Wives: Miami. We got to see how fast things were moving (which by the way is rarely a good indicator of success). We got to watch how irrational Evelyn was when Chad had lunch in public with a female friend. We got to see Evelyn complain that she was tired of hearing the rumors about Chad on the internet. We got to see that Chad had been unfaithful to Evelyn prior to their wedding in July.
Essentially, she knew just what the fuck she was walking into, and walked anyhow.
I hope that she did not think that getting married meant that the man would change.
What makes more sense is that Evelyn got caught up in the trap we’ve been creating for our daughters that nothing short of a dream wedding in front of 300 people will prove that a man loves you.
There’s also the cobwebs talk.
In the initial episode of Hard Knocks: Dolphins Chad makes mention that his betrothed withholds sex from him until he scores a touchdown. Now, I hope that is not true, but then again Chad didn’t catch many (translation one) TD passes in New England last year.
Then there is the fact that an upcoming show is about to air featuring these two.
I dunno what the truth is, I suspect neither of them knows what the truth is either.
I do question if this one television show is worth what could very well be the last year that Chad is desirable to play in the NFL.
Regardless, the fairy tale is losing its shine and the edges of the book are turning brown. In short….reality bites.