When we speak of alternative lifestyles, one of them that many of us refuse to speak of out loud is the poly lifestyle.

Poly pulls up images that are not exactly positive.

In a Western society that has created a version of marriage that is one man and one woman with lots of monogamy mixed in….for a man (or god forbid a woman) to say that they live a poly lifestyle, well they are the biggest freaks of all in the freak show that we crowd under the umbrella of alternative lifestyles.

What on earth is wrong with you that you can’t just have one partner?

The answer….nothing.

The concept that the only way to prove love is to be monogamous, and to marry your partner is a design that is relatively new to humanity.  It is also something that is not reflected in the animal kingdom, unless you count angler fish, but they fuse so….

There is talk that the gibbon, a primate, lives a monogamous lifestyle, but even if they are (and there IS debate about that) it is estimated that only 6% of primates are monogamous.   Should we as humans aspire to be “more” than other primates?  Sure, but where is the proof that monogamy is more that exists outside of the pulpit?

The phrase “forsaking all others” is not technically part of the marriage vows but is included in the Declaration of Consent from the Book of Common Prayer of the Anglican Church published in 1549. The marriage ceremony outlined in the Book of Common Prayer is the basis for most weddings in the United States.

Yes your standard of what a marriage is has only been around since the 1500’s.  That might seem like a long time, until you count how long humans have actually existed on this planet.  Even if you are a creationist, and think that the bible is literal, this current definition of love and marriage and relationships has been around for less time than other versions of these concepts.

Considering the human race managed to get to 1549, with those “other “definitions” of love marriage and commitment well it can’t have been all bad right?

So why on earth in 2012, is the idea that one can love more than one person so terrible?

If you are a parent, you are familiar with the concept of having enough love for everyone.  You might have a child whose personality you like more, but you love all of your children.  If for example you have 4, you don’t use up your pitcher of love on the first 3 and have none left for the 4th, do you?

Yet, the idea that an otherwise reasonable human adult can love more than one otherwise reasonable human adult is something that we refuse to consider.  Why?

As I finish up my piece on the myths and realities of being poly, I have to ask even if I can prove to you constant reader that the monogamous lifestyle we’ve been taught is a fantasy and a lifestyle that is non monogamous is the normal, how many of you will even listen to the evidence?