Sex has been on my mind lately.

Well if I am being honest it is USUALLY on my mind, but this time I mean the sex that you are having…or not having…or having poorly.

More often than not I am more concerned with my own vagina and making sure that it is in functioning order, but every so often I get into a mindset where I start asking questions. Stuff like…how many orgasms do you normally have when you are having sex.  It is when I get answers like…what is an orgasm that I get off on this I am going to make sex better for everyone tangent.  I am swiftly brought back down to earth, more often than not by my OWN sexual needs but I have a few minutes tonight so … let’s talk.

Anonymous Woman


Women stop lying on your pussy.

If you happen to be going through a sexual drought, or if your riverbed is overflowing…it is not anyone else’s business but yours.  Since it is not my business, stop lying to me about it.

My questions when they come are not some secret squirrel mission where I am looking for information to relieve you of your man, or ridicule you for not having one.  My goal is to help you enjoy sex – without holding onto that silly notion that you can have good sex without an orgasm.  If you are not having sex for a reason, pretending that you are does nothing except force you to have to live an imaginary life, attempting to live up to my expectations, and if that is what you find entertaining then I will just start calling you Simone and filing for restraining orders. (Simone is the name of my stalker)

Stop faking your orgasms.  If you would like to eventually have one…you are not going to get there by lying about what feels good.  Men are terribly uncomplicated creatures.  If his goal is to have a mutually satisfying experience, he is going to do things to attempt to make you cum.  If you don’t cum when he is doing that  special move, he is going to keep doing that special move that bores you to death.   It is okay to explain to him (at a time when you are not about to have sex OR just finished sex) that what you’ve been doing is nice, but I bet if we tried ___________ it would be even better.  Men will always choose better sex. Trust me…if the opportunity comes and he has the chance to make you wet the bed, speak in tongues, and pass out from ecstasy?  He will do it.  Then hit his running man and puff out his chest and proclaim himself to be the pussy slayer of all pussies in all of the history of the universe, and then moonwalk.  His ego and his penis want to be the best lover you  have ever had, and you are denying him that bragging right when you fake it.  Stop.

It is okay to have more than one.


With apparently so many women having no orgasms, the concept of having more than one is beyond belief, but having more than one is a wonderful thing.   I was speaking with a friend about my unscientific poll on Twitter & Facebook and my chagrin at the number of women that said things like:  on a good night I can have 3.

I understand that I am spoiled.  I understand that I am fortunate.

What I can not understand is why something that feels so good, women say I will only have one.  Do you eat one potato chip?  Then why are you settling for one orgasm?  Shit orgasms BURN calories.  If you allow yourself more than one orgasm you can eat more potato chips.

When I tell women that I can have 20 (or more) when having sex they think I am lying.


I am not.

I love my orgasms, and I can’t get enough of them.

Do I expect 20 every time I have sex?  Kind of.  Do I demand we count them and not stop until we hit 20?  No.  I do expect to cum though.  And I understand what will make me cum. And I am not afraid to express that to a partner.  My partners appreciate it, and then reward me with an orgasm (0r 20).  There is no downside to it ladies.  Seriously.

I am curious.

What is the fear/apprehension about taking the steps you have to take to have better sex?



About Aphrodite Brown

Aphrodite Brown is the owner and creator of Vizionz from the Bottom. Vizionz is a life and culture blog covering all aspects of life from pop culture, to politics, to parenting, with an extra heavy dose of alternative lifestyle & sex positive living.
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