Loving or Hating Tami….

Hi Constant Reader

Back here I wrote about my love/hate relationship with Tami Roman reality television star : http://www.vizionzfromthebottom.com/2011/03/07/my-lovehate-relationship-with-tami-roman/

Seeing Tami back on television took me back to a place in my life when she was my representative of Black women on TV.  It was 20 years ago, there just were not that many of us on the boob tube then.  There are still not a lot of us, but there are more than when Tami was on The Real World.

I admired some of the strong things that I witnessed Tami survive, and I hated some of her bravado, and her going from zero to 60 for no damned reason.

I didn’t think back then about how society might look at me because I was a Black woman and their only exposure to Black women was Tami Roman (or Akbar as she went by then). When she came back for The Real World Reunion as the wife? fiance? of Kenny Anderson I thought that’s cool!  She’s gonna settle down and be a wife and all of that nonsense that I saw on the show would be history.

I didn’t know that 20 years later I would have Tami on TV again.  I didn’t know that I would pay MORE attention to how society views me. I didn’t know that I would end up watching a show about women that used to fuck NBA players because I wanted to see what Tami had been up to in the years since I last saw her.

Shed Media & Shaunie O’Neal produce Basketball Wives.  Shaunie talks a good game about wanting  a better representation of Black women on TV, while she collects the substantial checks that Ratchetball Wives puts into her pocket. Shaunie may not have final say about the show, and the editing, and the scenarios created for taping but she certainly can weigh in on the direction of the show.

Shed Media has brought you such historic television such as The Flavor of Love Seasons 1-3 and I Love Money.

Shed Media may not need Shaunie O’Neal, but Shaunie certainly could if not alter the direction of the show, donate her hefty checks to a cause that empowers Black women since this show clearly does not.

But back to Tami.

In her first season with the show Tami fought with Evelyn after the reveal that Evelyn had sex with Tami’s then husband.

In her second season on the show Tami got into fight with Meeka because she didn’t like her.

In this season Tami has decided that she does not like Kesha Nichols and that dislike has culminated in an I hate Tami moment for me.

Kesha Nichols of BB Wives Miami

This is a show and there are certainly moments left on the cutting room floor to make a 47 minute show for Vh1, but unless Kesha has molested one of Tami’s daughters there is no excuse for the display that aired tonight on the show.

The women are in Tahiti, and after a shot of alcohol Tami decides to confront Kesha about something that they argued about weeks previous.

Kesha god bless the tiny girl wants no part of drunken violent Tami.  I do not blame her.

You see Tami & I both come from da hood but being a 40-year-old woman in da hood means that you should have learned something over the years.  There is a way that adults act in society that was not reflected in Tami’s behavior.  AT ALL.

You see while Tami was popping off at the mouth and using bitch like salt on food, Kesha unwilling to risk a physical altercation gets up from the table and when it shows that Tami is not going to act like she has the common sense the good lord gave her, Kesha walks away and leaves her purse at the table.

Tami decides that she is not getting enough satisfaction cursing Kesha out without Kesha responding so Tami collects Kesha’s abandoned purse with the proclamation that Kesha can not have it back until she asked for it and apologized to Tami.



Kesha retreats to her room, and when she hears the news she reports the incident to the hotel.

You know what? For that Kesha gets:



As I attempt to describe it here I can simply not do justice to the amount of sheer fuckery, drunken fuckery, childish drunken fuckery Tami displayed.  The affront?  Kesha had the audacity to say that during their last encounter when Tami popped off at the mouth without consideration that she is a grown assed woman with teen daughters looking to her as a role model – I didn’t go off on Tami because there was nothing that I could have said that would make her look worse than how she made herself look.



There is little attractive about an adult female running about frothing at the mouth and cursing because someone SAID something that she did not like.  Seriously?  I mean for real, Kesha SAID something and apparently that is worth looking like a porch monkey on national television?  Okay if you say so.

I do not for one moment blame tiny Kesha for removing herself from that insanity.  I also do not blame her for her initial refusal to capitulate to Tami and essentially kiss Tami’s butter pecan ass for her purse back.

Later in the show – perhaps it was the tropical rum – Tami attempts to make it know to Kesha that she did her a favor by grabbing her purse because Kesha had left it unattended.   Tami has been bitching all season about the bad editing she’s gotten, but this edit CLEARLY shows that she held the woman’s purse hostage.

I applaud her decision to ignore Tami, and demand the return of her property without having to get into a physical confrontation.  Grown women should not be fighting over words. Period.

Tami was offended that Kesha put her freedom @ risk and almost had her arrested.  Tami do you know how you avoid getting arrested?  You realize that you are an adult, that you control your own actions, and that you have issues with holding your temper when you have hard liquor and you don’t act a fucking fool.

You are in paradise and all you can find within yourself to do is pick on a woman smaller than you, younger than you, and harass her to the point that she leaves the island?  That speaks to issues that no amount of lawsuit settlement mandated anger management therapy can fix Ms. Roman.

While all of this bullshit was going on Shaunie O’Neal…the we need better examples hypocrite essentially sat there. Evelyn also sat there.  Now perhaps on the cutting room we might find their attempts to mediate, except….Tami still has this child’s purse.  This is how you know that Tami doesn’t really have a friend in the bunch because if I lost my mind in that manner, none of my friends would stand by and watch me do that.

They would grab me by the back of my neck, make me give that purse back, and make me go sleep off that angry high of mine.

Tami it’s not about a slight or disrespect that you think Kesha did to you weeks ago.  It’s not about her talking behind your back.  It is about your arrested development that allows you to resort to bullying and hitting rather than to take an intellectual approach to you problem situations.

I am appalled that Tami acted in that manner, and I am appalled that no one thought enough of her to check her.



Somebody needs to before you end up in an orange jumpsuit that is not made by Chanel.

There comes a point and time when good television needs to be damned and a little self-respect needs to be obtained.   Pardon me if I do not wait around while Tami locates hers.  I suspect that it is long gone.


In shocking news, Tami has been doing interviews lately where she complains that she is being cyber bullied by people who use social media.   She is hurt that people choose to call her on her own bullshit.

Well Tami bully is as bully does.

If it walks like a duck

If it quacks like a duck

If it looks like a duck……

About Aphrodite Brown

Aphrodite Brown is the owner and creator of Vizionz from the Bottom. Vizionz is a life and culture blog covering all aspects of life from pop culture, to politics, to parenting, with an extra heavy dose of alternative lifestyle & sex positive living.
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