Seismic Shift


Hello my name is Nicole and I am a size queen.  I haven’t always been, nope not at all.  The man that I was engaged to marry stood @ a whopping 3.7 inches fully erect.  Yeah, I have not always been a size queen.

The funny thing about not being a size queen?  With the exception of that one partner in my sexual history (which is fairly diverse and long) I’ve not had sex with a man who was less than 8″. (well there was this one guy a couple of summers ago, he wasn’t QUITE 8″ but he wasn’t less than 4″ either)  I would say that 85% of them were in the 9.5 or better category.  Of course the ex fiance just flat out ruins the curve, but I can safely say that I’ve had my share of large penis.

I stumbled upon sex shortly after I turned 18 with Kevin who was 10″ if he was an inch.  Losing your virginity to a larger penis, if he is not a considerate penis is hell – I’ve heard.  Even back then though I had an affinity for sex and things sex related, and I did not have the issues that my girlfriends had.  My first time didn’t hurt *files nails*.  Then again not only do I seem to have the ability to attract larger penis, I have the ability to attract considerate penis.

I got to thinking about penis size during a flirty exchange with someone who I am sure if I let him whip it out would be the biggest in a line of not so smalls.  That exchange got me to thinking a bit more about the phrase:  Size Doesn’t Matter.


Size matters to men.  Ever hear a man brag on his little penis? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

Size matters to women.  I keep hearing about all of these studies that talk about how women say that size doesn’t matter.


Those studies are done by men with small penis that want to make themselves feel better.

But Nicole size doesn’t matter!!!!  For real?  If it does not where are all of my sisters yelling: “Send me all of the small dick you can find!”.

Now as a woman?  If I am given the choice between a 6″ man who eats pussy well, uses toys well, and is concerned with my sexual health and my orgasm OR a 11″ man who comes in under 70 strokes and has no hip action?  I will take door #1.

I’ve had both, so I can speak from experience.  Thank you Mr Couple of Summers ago.

If a woman tells you that your penis size does not matter, what she is actually saying is:  I will overlook your 7″ penis if you do lots of other things correctly.

This idea that size doesn’t matter to women is more of a reflection that we are willing to take the total package over just one cosmetic item on the package.  It’s why older balding and poochy middle aged men can walk out of the house with a 25 year old supermodel.  Heidi Klum can fall in love with Seal because the total package is greater than the one item.

It is also men with small penis attempting to feel better about themselves.

If you Google:  does penis size matter, the top responses are from magazines like Men’s Health.   They swear forever and a day that to women penis size is not important.

Yet, when you hit page two where you find your first response from a ‘womans magazine’ Cosmopolitan the answer actually is:  most women say they are SATISFIED with the penis size of their partner.  That doesn’t mean size doesn’t matter – it means that she is not going to say bye to an otherwise good man because he is not slingin like Sean Michaels.

Men want size not to matter to women, but it does.

Now…not every woman will be a size queen like myself, but 3.7″ is not going to win many marathons.

Well Nicole if size does matter why don’t women say that it does!

Good fucking question.

I think for some of us it is about our inability to let loose and experience sexual freedom in a positive way.  I mean how do you say, if given the choice I want the big penis without sounding like a “slut”?

Another part of it is us not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings.  I never told the 3.7 man that he had a small penis.  I mean I kind of didn’t have to……but  I knew if I ever said gee honey you have a small penis it would have hurt his feelings.

Another part of it is that some women desire to have a man, and are unwilling to do or say anything that will chase the man that they have away.
Then you have women like me…who say yes size matters, but well size matters.

Women if we start telling the truth about our sexuality, we will get better sex.

Allow me to repeat that:

If we start to tell the truth about our sexuality, we will get better sex.

The first step is to be willing to talk frankly about our needs, our desires, our fantasies.

It is not productive to say: size doesn’t matter, when you know that it does.
It is not productive to say: its okay that I didn’t have an orgasm, when it is not.

If we keep allowing the myth that size doesn’t matter to move along unchecked we are continuing the practice of women having unsatisfying sex, and in all reality preventing men from growing to their potential to be better lovers as well.

Ladies as long as we keep lying …. we are all losing.

About Aphrodite Brown

Aphrodite Brown is the owner and creator of Vizionz from the Bottom. Vizionz is a life and culture blog covering all aspects of life from pop culture, to politics, to parenting, with an extra heavy dose of alternative lifestyle & sex positive living.

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12 Responses to Seismic Shift

  1. PinkieB says:

    I think it’s awesome that you call women to stand up for their sexual wants. Women need a voice.

    But I have to take issue when you try to hurt other people in order to advance your cause:

    “Those studies are done by men with small penis that want to make themselves feel better.”

    What is this nonsense? You have no proof of this! And how cruel of you to deny someone the ability to make themselves feel better! A man with a small penis suffers because his body is not what society says is ideal. So does a woman! Even today possession of a penis, regardless of size, makes a human more attractive, more important, more worthy of respect, work, attention, everything! And we women scream to be heard and to be cared for, but we only perpetuate the system if the only way we can improve our lot is by hurting someone else.

    • Aphrodite Brown says:

      Hello PinkieB!

      Since this is your first comment I will guess that you got here via a link on Reddit or the other site this post was linked to. One of the staples of Vizionz is that I speak with humor. Unfortunately humor is subjective, and what makes me laugh might offend another. Honestly MOST of what makes me laugh others will find offensive… I am warped.

      You are right that I have no proof to back up my claim that the studies were done by men with small penis. You are also correct that penis privilege rules !

      I thank you for your feedback, for reading and I hope other posts will be more appealing to you

      • PinkieB says:

        Hi Aphrodite,

        Thanks for the reply. Your article was linked to on a forum I moderate about men’s sexuality. I poked around a bit before commenting.

        I appreciate your claim to humor and humor is important for communication. However there is a difference between humor and blatant misrepresentation of the truth. The men I work with would read your words and be destroyed. They do not come off as humorous.

        • Aphrodite Brown says:


          I understand that. It was certainly not my intention to offend. I would not on purpose choose to walk into your forum, or with the men you work with, and attack. That is not my style. I freely admit that when I write, I write from the position of woman’s sexuality, woman’s empowerment and I am pretty unapologetic about that. It’s been my experience that women walk through life more sexually frustrated than satisfied. I admit that from this perspective I don’t readily make the conversation inclusive and target HUMAN sexuality. I want women to flourish, and no I do not tend to include men in this perspective on this forum. While I cannot control where I am linked to, I will state that I fully understand your position, I appreciate you sharing it.

  2. nerdypleasures says:

    I hate when other women think they speak for all women, especially their voice does not resonate with mine. I have attracted far more unusually large dicks than statistics and reason say I should. I have had a lot of sex, with a lot of men, and some of them have been hung quite small (though the only one hung under 4″ had 2.5″ and I only blew him). I would never say size does not matter, but I would say size only matters to me insomuch as the fit is great. If all the right bits rub all the right bits, the different sizes and shapes just feel different to me, not better nor worse. You cannot speak for me. I resent your writing in language which implies you can. Knock it off.

    • Aphrodite Brown says:

      Thank you for stopping by nerdy pleasures

      The point of the post was that women in general tend to not articulate their sexual needs and defer their sexual needs which – again in general – leads to sexually not satisfied women.

      I appreciate your dissent though, even if you resent me at the moment.

      • NerdyPleasures says:

        Thank you for your rebuttal. If your message is supposed to be about women empowering ourselves sexually, and speaking to our desires, why not just say that? Why not say these are MY sexual needs, and I insist upon having them met, and whatever an individual woman’s needs and desires, I implore her to insist on satisfaction, and only that which she finds satisfactory as well? Why denegrate the vast majority of men, declare that all women need only those men in the largest hung ten percent of the global population, and even in hyperbolic jest put forth the notion that any woman who does not have a size preference is under the influence of the puny peen establishment seeking to quell her true desires? You may correct me if I’m wrong, but your response to me so far, and to Pinkie above, really just reads as back-pedalling, simply because it is not at all how your original post comes across.

        If women are to empower ourselves sexually, I would say the first step would be to learn about our own bodies. How many women know exactly what part of the clitoris tends to be most receptive to pleasure? How many actually know that the cervix is not the end of the road, vaginally speaking? How many know how to teach a man with a long, skinny penis to dodge the cervix, and nudge/grind against the posterior fornix? How many know the location of the anterior fornix? And what about the g-spot, and the corresponding pressure point on the mons pubis? Do all women know how to flex their pelvic floors? How many can flex in such a way to really push and pull, push and pull on a penis using just those inner muscles, and how many know the pleasure they can give themselves in those actions? How can women even begin to be concerned with the dimensions and capabilities of their partners without obtaining first the power that comes from thorough knowledge of self? I would push our sisters to be sure they are aware of their divine bodies and how they work, and then to even go further, exploring their ideas, fantasies and learning the boundaries of their desires and fantasies, in order to have a basis for exploration and discovery and growth with a partner. I would encourage my heterosexual sisters to learn also about a man’s body and pleasure as well, because a good man wants to give his partner even more pleasure than he receives from her.

        If you want to encourage the blossoming of everlasting sexual power and satisfaction for womankind, I would encourage you to use your platform as a springboard of true autonomy, of true volition, and that always comes from real knowledge, not pop BS. There is a culture of sexual dysfunction prevalent in our society, and those implying that size is tantamount to pleasure for all women do their brothers and sisters a great disservice. Do you really think it makes sense that all women need to restrict themselves to the largest 10% of penises? Do you really think the average man does not fit very well with the average woman? What would be the evolutionary benefit to that?

        • Aphrodite Brown says:

          The point of Seismic Shift was not to proclaim to the world that all women want a man with a large penis. I know that all women do not. The point of SS was to encourage women to communicate their sexual needs to their partner(s) and stop living sexually unsatisfied lives. I attempted to say this by using personal experiences, humor, and encouraging communication between partners.

          Do I personally like large penis? Yes. Do I personally like less than large penis? Yes. I am in tune enough with my body, my needs, and my libido to the point that I don’t need any particular penis size to have a satisfying sexual experience. I also understand that sex and sexuality goes way beyond penis in vagina penetration making size for me irrelevant. We agree that many women don’t know themselves. I think we might also agree that women need to communicate better with their partners and that might include saying size matters. If it matters, and to some it does, that conversation should then include ways to enhance pleasure that are not about the penis.

          • NerdyPleasures says:

            If that is so, I’m glad this discussion exists as a disambiguation for your readership. Much of that is not apparent from your original post. Thanks again for taking the time to address me.

          • Aphrodite Brown says:

            Thank you for taking the time to address me as well. Vizionz does not censor readers even when they have a dissenting opinion. With your comments you’ve expanded my vizion and that of my readers. I find that to be a positive.

  3. admin says:

    If you prefer them to not be long and skinny? Then size DOES matter. When I say it matters I am referring to one’s preference, and that is something that we all have. It’s okay to say that you have a preference. That is the whole point, that when we talk about our preferences, when we talk about sex, we help ourselves to have better sex.

  4. flightless says:

    Size doesn’t matter to me, though I prefer them not so long-and-skinny that they jab me in the cervix. Orgasms/satisfaction matter immensely. And I have never met a guy whose tongue and fingers were too small to get me there.

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