Baby I’m a Star

I may still to the 15 things I learned from Basketball Wives: LA, but something else was on my mind after watching the finale/reunion show last night.

Gloria Govan was tapped for the show, in part because of her link to the first Miami cast, and because well she makes good television, but what we’ve have for the past 14 weeks is in reality:

The Jackie Christie Show

Re-Touched photo of Jackie Christie

The producers of the show may have thought that the audience would fall in love with poor little Draya that the girls beat up on all season, but the force of nature that is Jackie Christie would not be denied.

*a side not about the producers….Shaunie O’Neal maintains the Executive Producer credit for the show – she insists that she was not at all involved in the casting (or editing or filming) of the LA spin off. I don’t necessarily buy it – but she cashes the check so she is equally responsible for the series*

It was meant to be an ensemble cast, but when you knock of Tanya Williams for being too damned grown for the bullshit, and Kimsha Artest chucks you the deuces from episode 2 through episode 13, something has to fill the void.

Love her or hate her Jackie Christie was the axis that the show rotated around.

Do I still think that she is a little crazy?  I certainly do.  I also think that she is brilliant in what could be insanity, and I don’t knock her hustle.

Until the next separation of Laura Govan and Gilbert – until Draya drops a sex tape – all that will be remembered of the more ratchet version of the Miami single women who used to get horizontal with basketball players show – all that will be remembered is Jackie Christie.

Let’s do a swift recap of the show to prove my point:

Episode One : The Fight
– What many will remember from the first show is that it ended with Laura catching a stiff right from Malaysia and Tanya texting hood rat as the Royal Rumble unfolded around her.  What is also remembered is Jackie going in on Tanya for no apparent reason asking her who the fuck are you? It was the first sign to what would eventually be portrayed as an unbalanced Jackie Christie.  The inquisition of Tanya seemed to come from no where, and seemed to contain too much animosity for the amount of interaction the two of them already had.  Then again the show is edited folks.

Episode Two: The Exorcism of Tanya Williams
– This was the last we would see of the one Basketball Wife I looked forward to seeing the most.  She walked out of the show and our consciousness but not before Jackie got the women riled up reminding them that as Laura and Malaysia fought…Tanya didn’t lift a finger to stop the bloodshed.   This would be our first glance at Jackie the ‘instigator’ a role that she would be forced to wear (earned or unearned) at the end of the show.

Episode Three: The Bachelorette Party
– I am not convinced that in 16 years Jackie never had a bachelorette party.  I am also not convinced that Gloria met Draya in “acting class”. Jackie Christie front and center…the wedding planner – the search for the dress – do I invite Draya to the wedding?  Jackie Jackie and MORE Jackie

Episode Four: The Wedding
-The 16th nuptuals of Mr. and Mrs. Doug Christie.  Jackie is once again the center of the show.  If for some reason you thought that the producers would tire of this would would be incorrect.

Episode Five: The Aftermath
-This was the episode that Jackie confronted Draya about not showing up to her wedding.  Now, tell me something else that happened in this episode.  It’s okay I will wait….I have time.

tick tock tick tock tick tock

Episode Six: The Confrontation
-The arrest of Draya for child endangerment (a charge that she later pled guilty to in her home state of Pennsylvania) was the hot gossip.  Who Googled Draya though?  Jackie.  Who threatened to knock her teeth out later in the episode?  Jackie.  Watching Draya deny her crimes was not nearly as entertaining as watching Jackie go from 0-60 when Doug’s name popped out of Draya’s mouth.

I won’t recap all 14 episodes, but what is consistent with all of them is that Jackie Christie provided multiple memorable moments in the episodes.

Draya may have attention because she is younger than the other ladies, and because she leaves her 7 year old to fend for himself while she swings from a pole – but the reunion is proof that this was the Jackie Christie show from start to finish.

If you think that Jackie was not running shit – go back to the finale – when all of the girls wanted to “confront” Jackie about her issues.  Each and every one of them sat still in silence because Jackie told them that she would not be starting not would they until Jackie got her drink.

They may chuckle at the reunion that Jackie needs to not be calling herself the “Queen Bee” – but if she can get 5  other grown assed women to sit down and shut up and wait until she gives them permission to speak?  Yeah okay….you define it as something else if you want to…if it looks like a duck and walks like a duck and quacks like a duck…..

There was one star of this show that was not supposed to have stars.

The editing of the reunion show is questionable.  It is quite obvious that some of the reactions of Jackie and the other ladies were not to the questions they were allegedly responding to.  That will happen with these kinds of things though.

Do I think that Jackie was edited to look a little more batshit that she actually was?  Yes.

She is still batshit though.

The thing about batshit….it gets ratings. If it did not we would never have met Mrs. Doug Christie on the LA spin off show.

Jackie’s clothing line (no comment) gets free press – she gets a paycheck and even if she does not return to the show for a 2nd season she’s established herself to the point where she doesn’t have to wait for a call back to season two…she can set the terms for her OWN show.  #bawse

Before you doubt me, if folk will line to up watch the drivel that was the LA season as a whole they will line up to watch crazy Jackie Christie.  And she will be riding the crazy train all the way to the bank.

The most interesting thing – to me at least – about Jackie is that she is a woman still finding herself and still battling her own demons. She is very concerned about being accepted by her peers, while at the same time understanding that those peers are not on her level.

Ahem – yes I said they are not on her level.

Say what you want about Doug?  He’s remained for 16 years.  These chicks can’t get 16 minutes of marriage.    Say what you will about Jackie….just about every other basketball wife has to worry where the stick is getting wet at on the nights that hubby is away.  Jackie does not.

Jackie appears to have what these women want – monogamy from their mat and a ring on their finger.  The only other woman on the show that can claim wife status?  Malaysia but she’s only 4 years in.  The other thing about Malaysia?  Other than the fight with Laura what do you remember about her?  Exactly.

Lover her – hate her – commit her to a 30 day live in program – you remember Jackie you talk about Jackie and Jackie made the show go round.

Now with all the women saying how they ‘hate’ Jackie, you wonder what is in store for a season two of the LA version of Basket Ball Wives.  What you should realize though is that the show now needs Jackie, and Jackie may not need the show.

Would you really watch 14 episodes of Draya and Malaysia having lunch?
14 episodes of Gloria and Laura shopping for shoes?
14 episodes of Imani looking for a husband?


The LA franchise needs Jackie Christie – yet Jackie took all 14 episodes on her own and can easily translate that into The Jackie Christie Show.

Who’s winning now?

About Aphrodite Brown

Aphrodite Brown is the owner and creator of Vizionz from the Bottom. Vizionz is a life and culture blog covering all aspects of life from pop culture, to politics, to parenting, with an extra heavy dose of alternative lifestyle & sex positive living.
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