I am fairly sure that you have to be over 30 to get the reference.

This has been an interesting week full of sex sex sex and more sex.  Not all of it though has been positive news.  I tend to think about sex a lot, but then again I am a horny chick so that is kind of the standard when it comes to me.  I like sex, I think about sex, but apparently I am not having as much sex as this woman:

45 year old Michelle Duggar

Today the Duggar family announced that after almost two years off, baby number 20 has taken up residence in Michelle’s uterus.  The Duggars are a family of faith and have chosen to live life without birth control, hence the 19 children and the one on the way.  I have opinions about a family in 2011 with 20 children, but I am simply going to say I hope they are both healthy.

I’ve carried a child, and Clyde bless his heart tore me to pieces for his 35 weeks in my abdomen.  Children are wonderful, and I love babies….I just do not ever want to be pregnant again.  I simply can not imagine the circumstance that would get me to carry a child to term twice let alone 19 times and say I have one more left in me.

What I find most amazing about the number of children that the Duggars have though, is that they were about to find the time to create them.  I have one 10 year old, and I can’t find the time to fuck nearly as often as my libido deserves.  I do not understand the physics behind having say 4 or 5 and finding the time – the energy – and the ability to get into the hole to make any more.

If you have children you understand just how hard it is to fuck inside of your house.  Every child that you add to that equation decreases the chances of playing hide the salami.  As I said to a friend earlier today, the 20th use of Michelle’s uterus is proof that the urban legend our mothers taught us of getting pregnant by sitting on the toilet seat must simply be true.

I worry some about Michelle, she’s not a spring chicken.  And being pregnant takes a heavy toll on the body…being pregnant 19 times prior well its a wonder she still has all her teeth and her bones don’t break when there is a stiff wind.  A fetus is essentially a parasite until you are able to push it out, and 19 of those one would think would leave very little left over for mom. Then again…

This is a woman who has been pregnant for just about 50% of her life, perhaps her  body needs the parasite to function properly.  If that is the case I will reserve my fears for her until menopause hits and she actually can not have a baby any longer.

45 is kind of long in the tooth to be all extended belly.  I know that it is not something that I could have done.  It’s not something that I have to worry about though thanks to tubal ligation…..ummmm I hope…and pray.  Although perhaps I should get my uterus removed as well….just to be safe.

Jerry Sandusky

It is difficult to describe evil without good, in this case though…I can make an exception.  That bastard up there (yes I am judging and yes I am ready to take the karma that comes from that)  is out on $100,000 bail after being arrested for buggering young boys.

I have great anger at this situation, unlike so many who’d opinion I’ve herad in the past 3 days though, little at Joe Paterno.  He (Joe) may be the face of Penn State football, but he was not the man at the top of the totem pole.

Many University officials dropped the ball on this one, and more children suffered because of it, but reports that I’ve heard thus far, do not allow me to toss blame to Paterno as well.

If I am going to be angry at someone – and yes I am – I will be most angry at the graduate student who witnessed sexual activity between pedophile and child and all he did was report it.  I don’t walk into a shower and see a child being abused and walk away and tell my boss.  I catch a case because I’ve committed my own abuse all up and down the jaw and spine of the pedophile.

The way I see it, I just need ONE parent on the jury and a lawyer.  Yep, risk I am willing to take.

I am the mother of a 10 year old and I guard him fiercly.  I would guard him just the same were he a verbal child, but he is not.  This news hits me especially hard.  I look at Clyde and know what I would do to someone who hurt my child, and have issues understanding why anyone who hurts a child anywhere gets away with it.

Clyde with all of his athletic ability he refuses to use could have been one of those ‘at risk’ kids.  Or not, because I can not imagine that I would not know that someone was fucking with my child and then I would fuck with them right back.

Almost makes you want to ask Kerry Collins how old he was when he first started drinking.

In a series of unfortunate events, Herman Cain this week has done his best impression of two beloved Presidents.

Ronald Regan – I do not recall
Bill Clinton – I did not have (sexually harassing behavior) with that woman

Maybe Cain is the moderate that cable news claims exists but is never spotted…kind of like big foot.

Cain’s Glora Alred represented accuser may be faking the funk though.  In a news conference today, Cain insisted, in a manner that can leave zero doubt about his intentions, that he does not know her.  Kind of difficult to sexually harass someone that you don’t know….trust me….I’ve tried.

One thing is certain, Cain’s denial today, means that more women will show up tomorrow.

Has he engaged in inappropriate behavior?  I don’t know.  My instinct is to say yes.  It is not that I think he is a predator, I think that Herman Cain comes from a time when sexual harassment was ‘acceptable’.

For all of the video rentals of Disclosure out there…sexual harassment is still a relatively new term in the shit you can’t do at work lexicon.  The idea that boys will be boys still exists even though virtually every corporation has the video shot in the 90’s explaining that you can’t tell dirty jokes when Sally is around.  Cain comes from an era where sexual harassment didn’t exist, it was simply Helen being over sensistive.

That mentality needs to be outgrown, and I think it is possible that it took Herm a little longer to outgrow it than a younger man more accustomed to a woman in the workplace.  For the record, even were he not running for President, I don’t think that Herm would make the same mistakes that he did say 20 years ago, or even 10.

The thing about this whole ‘scandal’ though?

Non factor.

If he did something illegal, charge him.
If the statue of limitations has run out, sue him.

Otherwise…get off the dick.

Like Bill Clinton, like Anthony Weiner, like David Vitter, like Eliot Spitzer….I don’t give a shit about the candidates dick.  I care even less about Herman Cain’s dick.

Let him sing negro spirituals to rooms full of White folk, and let his dreams die on the vine in Iowa when the proper folks who are not willing to say out loud they are afraid to vote for the Black man, use the anonymity of the voting booth to tell Herm what time it really is in the corn fields.  Better corn than cotton right?

I’m going on record tonight though…if Herm makes it out of Iowa, I am changing my registration to Republican and volunteering for his campaign.


If Herman Cain is the best that the Republicans toss up to battle Obama?  I am gonna do everything I can to make sure that he stays on the ballot.  It should be clear by now that I will be voting for Obama, even if I am still not a fan.

I figure the only person other than Cain easier to beat would be Rick Santorum.  If you doubt me Goodle Santorum and then argue my logic.

Medicare is contemplating including STI testing in its health coverage packages

U.S. health officials are considering including tests for sexually transmitted diseases like syphilis and hepatitis B for the elderly and disabled covered under Medicare.

Medicare Paying for the Clap????? 

Its not quite that simple….Medicare is the provider of health care services for some who are disabled as well….it won’t just be granny.

I ain’t mad though if granny gets the same panel of testing that I do quarterly.

I fully intend to still be fucking @ 80.  I simply hope it will be with The Man and we won’t have to worry about giving one another herpes.

By the time I am 80 though I suspect I will only want it 2-3 times a week.

About Aphrodite Brown

Aphrodite Brown is the owner and creator of Vizionz from the Bottom. Vizionz is a life and culture blog covering all aspects of life from pop culture, to politics, to parenting, with an extra heavy dose of alternative lifestyle & sex positive living.
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