Good Girls Don’t

So I was tooling about as I am known to do from time to time and a thought occurred to me.  It’s actually a thought that I’ve had for quite some time, and something that I’ve lived most of my life, the idea that “Good Girls Don’t” is bullshit and I’ve typically refused to buy into that madness.

From the time that I was 7 and my mother was attempting to do a home exorcism in our bathroom, until 45 seconds ago this idea that there are good girls and bad girls and that if you are a bad girl there is no hope for you has tugged at my senses telling me that something is wrong here.

Sure there has to be a standard of acceptable activity in the world, there must be rules and there must be structure, but are we imposing structure in the correct places?

It’s one thing to not steal or lie or kill but has an orgasm really hurt anyone?

In a fantasy world where HIV does not exist and you get pregnant by eating candy corn, where is the harm in fucking?  Fucking a lot even?

Do we truly understand just how deep a part of this group hysteria over women fucking and cumming and owning their own sexuality has gotten, and are we willing to fix it?

Does it need to be fixed?

I can remember having a conversation a few years back about Jennifer Lopez.  It was right after Ben Affleck dropped the canary diamond on her ring finger.  The woman that I was talking to called Jennifer a whore.

Whore is not usually a term of endearment, and in this case it absolutely was not.  So I asked, why on earth are you calling this woman a whore?  Look at all of the men that she’s slept with my friend said.  :::blink:::

At this point in Jennifer’s history she’s been married a few times, and that apparently had increased her body count to unacceptable levels.

Seriously?

So she was just supposed to sleep with husbands number one and two and then stop fucking so that her body count would remain low?  Since she’d been married three times previous, and had been ‘linked’ with others along the way she was now a whore because she’d fucked (assuming) more than three men?

When I brought up the point that she’s been married – you know that most sacred of status among the heterosexual Americans – and part of being married is that you fuck your husband (in theory) her response was so what she was still a whore.

Jennifer was no longer a “good girl” because she’d gotten it in with more than two men.

This theory transcends Jennifer Lopez.

Bonishatta down in the Martin Luther King projects?  You know the one with 6 kids and four different daddys?  She’s a whore as well.  If you ask me, she’s a little reckless in a day and age where sex can kill you, but a whore? Not at all.

She’s a woman who has had sex, that you can prove at least, 6 times in her life.  For all you know that could be the ONLY 6 times she’s ever had sex in her years, yet we still call her a whore.

The funny thing about this labeling of women as being not “good girls”, men subscribe to the theory but women enforce it.

Men will discuss how their ‘wifey’ will be chaste in comparison to the jump off, but it is the constant attention of women to the issue that keeps it going and keeps it flowing.

I’ve met some extraordinary men in my life, but despite how fucking awesome they were, they are not all that different than your regular Joe.  Men are fairly simple when it comes to what they want in a woman, until you add the perception of that woman to the image the influencing women have in their lives.

Men at a very early stage understand fucking feels good and they would like to fuck. As they age and get to the point they are ready to settle down and be stable, they don’t pick the woman that satisfies them, they pick the woman who momma would approve.

She’s a very kinky girl the kind you don’t take home to mother….

I want a lady in the streets and a freak in the bed

I could waste more space with the double standards but I think, I hope, you’ve gotten the idea.  The “good girl” is the one you put a ring on and the jump off is who you enjoy your sex with. Then you get shows like Basketball Wives with a group of chicks who had husbands (sometimes) and lost them to the jump offs of the world.

I’m using this show that I despise because women seem to like it.  I need fewer of you to like it but since I can not disable your televisions…..

Walking Herpes….I mean Draya is not liked by most of the wives because she is young and pretty and grabs the attention of men, and she is much more overt about her sex and sexuality than the other women.  But Nicole you call her walking herpes.  Yes I do, and I have my reasons and they are NOT related to the number of her sexual partners.

Anyhoo..

Draya is what all of the wives fear.  A young woman who’s silicone implants have not yet met gravity who quite possible does some freaky shit like suck a dick.  While they are running around being the “good girls”, and getting weaves and Gucci boots, their husbands are looking for the cure to dry balls or blue balls.

At the same time the wives are raising their sons to find a “good girl” to settle down with.

Instead of furthering the idea that there is such a thing as a good girl, and a bad girl, why are we not teaching our daughters that you should be cooking and not making reservations?  That they should be scrubbing baseboards and not having bi-weekly mani/pedis on the husbands dime?  That they should be sucking their husbands dick so that the husband is less likely to look for the cure to dry balls…or how about this….the balls are included in a blow job, and you should have a little enthusiasm and not act like its castor oil?

You are more concerned with the curl pattern of your weave that you don’t let your man touch, and which shade of Lucid lip gloss looks best on you rather than wondering which shade looks best on his boxers and you wonder why he cheats?

Fascinating concept.

Its one thing when you are on top of your game, and handling your business and he steps out on you.   That would make him an asshole and assholes are exempt from logical conversation, they are assholes.

But if you are still holding onto this idea that being a “good girl” means you don’t do certain things, how are you mad that your partner finds someone to do those things?    If you are still judging the “bad girls” who do all of those things, why are you surprised that your sons bring home the “good girl” and continue the pattern?

There is nothing wrong with a woman who likes sex.  There is nothing wrong with a woman willing to get into some freaky (although I really hate to use that descriptor) sex with their partner.

There is something very wrong when we continue the damage by telling our daughters what “good girls” don’t do.

A “good girl” is going to keep her partner happy, and you know what…in the process (if we teach our daughters how to pick better) she might have an orgasm or 30 herself along the way.

 

About Aphrodite Brown

Aphrodite Brown is the owner and creator of Vizionz from the Bottom. Vizionz is a life and culture blog covering all aspects of life from pop culture, to politics, to parenting, with an extra heavy dose of alternative lifestyle & sex positive living.

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